Speak Honest Podcast: Real Talk on Relationships, Attachment Styles & the Work of Healing Childhood Trauma

84. Breaking Toxic Dating Patterns | My Conversation with Coach Cass

• Jennifer Noble, PCC | Certified Relationship, Dating, NLP, & IAT Coach • Episode 84

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Ever wondered why love feels so hard even though you’re smart, successful, and doing all the “right” things?

In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Coach Cass to unpack the hidden patterns that keep women stuck in cycles of heartbreak, situationships, and almost-relationships. We talk chemistry vs. compatibility, why “casual equals casualties,” and how to create space for the love you actually deserve. If you’ve been settling for “he likes me” instead of choosing from your own worth, this conversation will shift the way you see dating and relationships.

You might want to listen if:

  • You keep confusing chemistry with compatibility
  • You’ve said yes to men simply because “they liked you”
  • You’re tired of casual connections that go nowhere
  • You struggle to trust what real love feels like
  • You want to create a supportive community around your love journey

About Our Guest:

When love feels out of reach, Dr. Casandra “Coach Cass” Henriquez—America’s Go-To Love Doctor—helps successful women over 40 attract and keep real love. She’s the creator of the bestselling Love Deck and founder of the Real Love Network, a thriving community for professional women seeking clarity, confidence, and connection.  Featured in Forbes, Cosmopolitan, and Black Enterprise, Coach Cass brings a relatable, no-nonsense approach to love and life.



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DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health ...

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Speak Honest. I am your host and certified relationship coach, Jennifer Noble. It has been my passion for over a decade to help women like you heal what's been holding you back from having the relationships you deserve. Are you struggling with a relationship where you can't seem to voice your emotions, needs and boundaries without having it blow up in your face? Then you have found the right podcast, my friend. Get ready for practical tips, empowering truths and honest conversations. Now let's dive in.

Speaker 1:

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Speak Honest. I am Jen Noble, your go-to relationship coach, and on today's episode, I am so excited to be featuring the brilliant Coach Cass. Now, if you don't know anything about Coach Cass, she is amazing. She is just so perfect for us y'all. Honestly, I'm a little bit starstruck. I can't believe I even got her to come on this podcast right now. When I heard that she wanted to come on, I was like, yes, let's get her right away because I love her stuff. She's so real, she's so honest, she tells you how it is and you know anything about me. That's exactly what we do as well, Before we get started.

Speaker 1:

If you want to continue this conversation after this, if you have any questions, if you're like, hey, what was that thing Coach Cass was talking about? Jump into our free Facebook community. Go to Speak Honest, Secure Communication for Women. Jump in there, ask anything you want, and I will make sure you get hooked up with any of the details, any of the links, any of the specials that Coach Cass is going to talk about today. But with all of that said, let's get on with the episode. Coach Cass, welcome to the podcast, darling, so happy to have you here. Say hi, introduce yourself, just do your thing.

Speaker 2:

Hey, jen. Well, I'm really excited to be here, right? So we were just talking about the power of everything that we do and literally where it came from. For me is my own heartbreak. So once upon a time, I was dating a guy that I thought was the one has that ever happened to you where you thought was the one before? So we were dating for almost two years, jen, and I just knew that. I knew that this was going to be my husband. Right, this is my husband.

Speaker 2:

And one Christmas Eve I got a call from a mutual friend. I'm like, oh, merry Christmas. He's like yeah, that's not why I'm calling. I said well, why are you calling? Then he said, oh, are you sitting? I said, oh, boy, what's going on? He says he's married. Yeah, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I was in a really dark place and I kept dating. But I kept dating the wrong guy after the wrong guy after the wrong guy. I said, oh man, something's got to give here. What am I not doing, right? So I want to say it was maybe my 29th wedding invitation, right? That was like my defining moment. It's like wait a second is every you ever felt like everybody was getting mad.

Speaker 1:

Everybody except for me right now. Yeah, exactly, you're like wait a second, didn't?

Speaker 2:

matter the age, the stage, the race, the weight, the degrees, the amount of money in the bank, like even Toothless Willie got somebody. It's like, wait a second now I'm cute, you're cute. Why is this not working for me? And so that's when I started to realize that I wasn't really taught how to do relationship. You know all the degrees through all the studies, through all the communications, through all the things we watch dysfunction, right, a whole lot of dysfunction. And so I decided to draw a line in the sand. But I drew it behind me and I said you know what? I'm going to do something different. I'm not going to go back. I don't want to turn into a pillar of salt, if you know, you know. And then I started to move forward and I said, okay, well, I read books on love, right, almost a hundred books on love. I interviewed couples who'd been married for over 25 years but actually still liked each other, because I'm Jamaican and there's a whole lot of old married folk but not everybody likes each other.

Speaker 1:

They might be married, but they don't really. They don't talk much anymore. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

All the things. I interviewed successful women who were successful in business and in love, because I realized that a part of me felt like you couldn't do the both of them at the same time. You know all these limiting beliefs around love. So, as I rewired my brain, I rewired my love story, attracting my amazing husband, and we have a beautiful baby girl that we just got back from a month trip in Africa with my mom, and it's just beautiful to be able to have these experiences. And I almost didn't have that happen because I almost pushed love away.

Speaker 2:

And that's what I find so many professional women do is that they say I'm just going to focus on my work, I'm going to focus on my kids, I'm going to focus on my cat. You know, I'm going to focus on something else that has nothing to do with my plants, something else that has nothing to do with my love life, because I can't control love. So therefore, it'll come when it comes, but somehow it's not coming so literally. That's what led me to this path, where I specifically support professional women in their love journey in a community, because I really believe that doing this thing by yourself it sucks.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it really does. Like you don't have to do this alone. It's hard enough as it is. But trying to figure all of this out and then thinking like wait, am I doing the right thing? Am I pushing them away, that's the hardest part to trust our intuition. Talk me through what it is you do with the ladies in your program and your community.

Speaker 2:

So the biggest thing is to be seen and heard, right? I find that too often we walk around and we're speaking but no one's listening, and so we get used to that and we enter relationships where no one's listening and we wonder why we cry ourselves to sleep or we feel unfulfilled or we end up in this rotating wheel of situationships because we don't know what it's like to be seen and heard. So we practice a lot of that in my community and really being able to help women get clear on what it is that they desire and how to identify that in the real world. Because it's one thing to have your list right, oh, I got a list, Roll it out but then what does that look like in real life?

Speaker 1:

right, yeah, like he's got to have this, this, this, this, this. You're like, okay, but like what if he kind of does this? And you're like wait, I didn't plan for that, right, wait, it's not on my list, so I don't know. And you're like girl, he just bought you flowers. Like, yes, all the illegitimate fear.

Speaker 2:

I feel very sad for the short men, but that's a whole nother topic. So you know really, walking them through what it is to accept and receive love and what that looks like, because there's so many terms, right Breadcrumbing, love bombing, coach Cass, he called me three days in a row. It's love bombing, I'm like, or he really just likes you, right.

Speaker 1:

Or he's also just nervous.

Speaker 2:

Right, you know there's, there's this weird things that we identify with.

Speaker 1:

Or they say, oh, he ghosted me. And I was like, oh, my God, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Like how long ago, and from this morning? And I was like, okay, sorry, we're ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. Coach Cass and I are having a moment right now as coaches. We love you, we adore you. We are just trying to tell you what it's like right now because we were there. I remember my own story, coach Cass. It was right at the pandemic. He had the audacity to break up with me on the day before the world shut down. Like what was he even thinking? And so, as if being alone is not hard enough, now I'm alone, alone, I'm just heartbroken. You know, I'm pantless. I'm chugging wine in the bottle like it's water and it's just like this is ridiculous. And then the same guy was. It was the same guy. It was the same guy. Talk me through these patterns we do as women. Talk me through that.

Speaker 2:

So many patterns, all right. Oh, pattern number one the guy is hot, he looks so good, the chemistry is fiery, so automatically we're smoldering together, ready to move in, and everything blows up within three months and you're just like what happened? I'm like, well, what are we doing? How are we choosing our partners, our life partners? Because the women I work with are marriage focused. They're not focused on the one night stand situation, because you would get that anyway. But it's just like the patterns I see is that we focus so much on the chemistry that we forget everything else that matters. And then we wonder why we ended up falling in lust with the drunk guy that doesn't do anything, right, that really doesn't hold a job. But then he's really sexy. Stop that Right. So there's that. But he's so fun to talk to, so fun Exciting. Stop it Right, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Then there's pattern number two. It's OK, well, I'm going to get on the app, and then I'm off the app. And Then I'm on the app, then I'm off the app and it's like what are we doing? Well, outside of that? I work, I got to make money, coach Cass, that's it right. So it's like they do the two-day free trial on a weekend and then expect love to find them. Nobody knows they're single. They don't go anywhere outside of with a group of girlfriends that's surrounding them, right, you know, maybe if that. And then otherwise they're Netflix and chilling and watching all of the reality shows, sometimes crying, saying why can't I just be married at first sight, knowing for a fact? They would be absolutely weirded out if that happened.

Speaker 1:

If that actually happened and that's such an interesting part about this work, as I'm sure you know as well.

Speaker 1:

But it's that, even that we talked about that earlier like the love bombing, which is to say, oh, he's love bombing me and it's like no girl. I just don't think what you know what it feels like to actually have somebody like you. For you, you've had to work your entire life to earn your love in this, and for me, I work mainly with attachment styles. So right, so I would say, like in your anxious attachment, as you're going through this, you're thinking to yourself, oh, unless you earn it, you don't deserve it. And so, as a result, when he's just giving it to you even though you didn't do anything to deserve it, you're like whoa, whoa, wait a second. And it's like trying to break all that. So something I wanted to talk to you about was that you have this ability. There's a beautiful way of managing these spaces where women feel both challenged but also safe and supported. So talk me through how you built that and what that feels like in your community.

Speaker 2:

I've been a coach since 2004,. Right, and in working with women in many different aspects, I just find it important to have a safe space and I never say that I'm not going to tell you like it is. Listen here. Okay, we call it judgment free, but still I'm going to tell you like it is always. I just came back from Africa. I took 25, 25 of us went to Africa, had a beautiful retreat and it was no drama. I haven't smiled so much all year, like, literally, we just had a blissful time together because of the company that we keep. We already have women that have signed up for next year's retreat based on the beautiful experience that they had now and literally, I have some women that come to everything because they're just like. There's no other space that exists like this and for me it's the intention and I'll tell you.

Speaker 2:

The first time I did this was my own wedding. At my own wedding, we had a four-day destination wedding and what I told people at the opening ceremony happy hour situation I said look your problems. You left them on the plane. So here we have a good time and so there is no problems here. We're going to have fun, period. So we didn't pay to. We have a good time and so there is no problems here. We're going to have fun period, right? So we didn't pay to not have a good time and it's just so amazing when you set your intentions, people actually like follow suit. We had a drama free wedding no family altercations, no fights, no nothing. Oh man, if you could bottle that and sell that.

Speaker 1:

That's ridiculous. Are you kidding me? Wow, Good for you, because you set the intention and you put it out there. When you put it out there. This is the expectation.

Speaker 2:

And now that I've had women that have been rolling with me for some time, right? So, whether they're single or in a relationship like, they still roll with me, it's just like this is the standard. So then we create ambassadors of. This is what we do, right? This is who we are.

Speaker 2:

What I call my woman is wanted women, so women achieving new triumphs every day. So you woke up like this you are wanted. Now it's to figure out what you want, right? And then we dissect and decipher that all the time, because so often we find the guy. That's like that 80-20 rule, but sometimes that 20 is a problem. Yeah, and I'm not here to shame anyone for breaking up, right.

Speaker 2:

So we celebrate the relationships, the engagements, the marriages, the breakups. We celebrate it all because one thing I know is that this is a self-discovery process, really selfishly. It's really all about you figuring out what you want, and if this is not what you want, you don't have to stay there. And that's not enough of a conversation in society today, like we weren't taught how to date. We weren't taught how to choose. I believe that women choose, even though men get down on one knee and all that good stuff, but I really believe that, women, you have to say yes and it's okay to say no, even though someone likes you Through the hundreds of women, thousands but, through the many women that I've spoken to, what I find as a theme is they just went with the person that liked them.

Speaker 1:

Oh, let's break that down a little bit. I'm going to repeat that they just went with the person who liked them, again going back to that worth thing, right Of like. Oh, okay, fine, I guess he puts up with me. So, yeah, talk me through why. If so, someone's listening and they're like, wait, that's a problem, hold up. Yes, talk me through why that might not be the healthiest solution.

Speaker 2:

We weren't taught how to choose right. So, especially for busy professional women that have so many things okay, you know, it's like he's doing the things he looks good on paper, This'll work Right, and too often we go with this'll work versus saying, wow, this is the person for me that I can build a marriage, build a life, build a home with, you know, aligned and vision. Like we, we weren't taught anything about that, so it's really like wow, you know it's, the pickings are slim. According to the internet, according to the television, according to all these people, there's no one out here, even though there's millions of people in the world.

Speaker 1:

Oh yes, I've heard you talk about this before. Let's drop some truth bombs right now, because I've heard you say this before where, if you're out there and you're believing right, you have this limited belief in your mind where you're like well, the good men are taken, they're all married or gay or whatever it is that we say Talk me through why that's detrimental to your love life.

Speaker 2:

So the thing is I hate statistics, right? So according to the BMI, right, based on whoever that they were studying, they say I'm overweight, but I'm a healthy weight for me, right? So if I read into all of the stats that don't apply to me, it then makes me depressed, it then makes me sad, it then decreases my self-worth. Instead, you need to start to figure out, start to look for the examples of the people getting in relationship, right? So look at all the people across the land that you know that have recently found someone, gotten engaged, gotten married.

Speaker 2:

You're like oh yeah, there's some people and even if you don't know them personally, you know them on the internet, you know them on television, right, but we get so caught up in there's no good men out there. You know, in my city I hear it all the time In my city, it doesn't matter if you're in.

Speaker 1:

Cucuquachi. I've been through all, I've swiped twice on them already and all of my, you know, and it's like, well, I saw this really great meme out there recently that was like, ladies, keep trying. You know your soulmate is about to get divorced, but it's not wrong. But here's why. So my, I got married recently 2023.

Speaker 1:

And so it's my second marriage Cause, you know, I had the whole lovely, toxic thing in the beginning and my husband now he was on dating apps for like 15 some years, you know, had like a couple. You know he did like the big fancy ones back in the day, like matchcom, and then he, you know, did start doing Bumble and he would date some women for a couple of years or whatever, and then never really found anyone. And people would be like, aren't you just tired of being on here? And he's like, well, yeah, but what's my other option? Like he's a very secure man, so so wonderful, so beautiful, and at the time it's exactly that. So we make that joke of he's.

Speaker 1:

Like I just waited Cause I knew my forever person, she'd be getting divorced soon and then I would be the better man. So like, do you hear that confidence in him? Right, as he's saying that, and I found him at a time where I wasn't really ready. I was just seeking male validation on dating apps, which you know, by the way, ladies, if you do that, great Like, we gotta like get our kicks in somehow. Okay, and it was the pandemic. So. But the next thing I know I'm falling in love with this man and I wasn't expecting that, and so that can happen. So long as his intention was always, I'm ready to settle down with a woman. He said it right there on his dating app I am looking for a marriage, for a long-term relationship, with the understanding that it doesn't have to happen tomorrow. He put his intention out there, didn't he?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I'm hearing intentions. Too often we say we're just looking for something casual and we're not, and I really feel like casual equals casualties. You know, we have to be more intentional about what we want. I mainly work with women over 40. So it's just like listen, we don't have time to play Yet we play so many games. And what I also find, jen, is that even though we say we want this relationship, we make no space for it. Oh, he wants to take you out. Oh, I have something. Third Tuesday from next Nebuary. Well, how does that help anyone?

Speaker 1:

I like Nebuary. That's really good.

Speaker 2:

How do you get to know anyone if you don't continuously connect with them? Right, you have to make space in your calendar and if your life is so full, then it's time to do a relook at your life. So I have a live event and last year one of the women stood up in the beginning of this event and stood with me. She's 65 and she had just retired and she said you know, I just spent the last 30 years at this job. I gave everything. Everyone knew me, they love me.

Speaker 2:

Since I've retired, my phone hasn't rung once, it wrong once, and it was just like this thought of silence. I was just like, wow, we give our everything to work, but when you step away from it, you get replaced right? Like when are we going to start to realize the person that you choose to marry, to be with, to partner with, to lay beside? Right, that's really important. Just like you put everything else up there in terms of getting your house, your car, your nice check, all of it. Like the person that you choose to be with that's the person that's gonna be there for you when you're sick, when you're down, when you choose the right person, right? Hello?

Speaker 1:

Right, good point, cause you could stay with someone. But this brings me back to such a great point too, and I want to talk more about your live event, because I think it sounds lovely, which goes back to community, which is also the amount of effort that you put into your community. So, your family, your friends Right, I get it. Some of us we don't have family or we've had to remove ourselves. That doesn't mean we don't have family. We get to create that for ourselves, and if we don't have a man, we get to create that in other ways as well. And so talk me through your live events, what that looks like and how that community of women they get to lean on one another while they're going through the hard shit.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So you know, during the pandemic, I got real cozy in my chair, jen. I did all of my webinars off the side of my bed, right, it was just beautiful. I got this meeting. I was like no new friends, I don't need anybody else, it's just me and my little cocoon. And as the world started to open up, I said, oh yeah, people are amazing. Wow, right, like, how can I almost shut myself off?

Speaker 2:

And I find that some people are still in that mode, shut down, shut off, turtles in their shell in their cocoon, scared to come outside and play. And I'm telling you, it's a lot of fun out here, knowing it's beautiful, you know. And it brings tears to my eyes to know what it means to other women. There were women who had never traveled with me before on our last trip to Zanzibar and they were crying to feel accepted, right, instantaneous acceptance, just for being who you are. We don't know how much money you make, we don't know how old you are, we don't know where you live. We just love you.

Speaker 2:

And how often do we really experience that? And what I find is we're often looking for validation and love in all the wrong places. So if we could find a little bit of that in a beautiful community. We're going to look for it less outside and we're going to really identify what real love feels like. So, yes, I have a live event called Wanted Woman Live every October in South Florida because it's the warmest place in the country at that time. Right, that's lovely. Yeah, it's a good time. Yeah, we dive deep, right. So essentially what we're talking about this year we have someone coming in talking about how trauma lives in your body, like how does it hurt and how does this affect your love life. Right, we have a gynecologist coming to talk about the menopause and the perimenopause, because all those hormones.

Speaker 1:

We need to be talking about that.

Speaker 2:

Yes, OK, our jacking, yes, jacking up our relationship. So we don't even understand why we're so crappy.

Speaker 1:

Right, like you can say yeah, my sis right. It's like I left him yesterday. Today he is pissing me off.

Speaker 2:

That's a real thing. So not only am I the president, I'm also a client, right? So we have our mindset, coach. That's talking about how to go from hustle to heart. You know, we're always on this grind, like everybody wants to solve life and has no idea how to get there. There's still a little grace that needs to happen in the process, and I'm talking about how do we hold a power seat right? You still have power, no matter what seat you sit in, and I know many women are afraid of being submissive and all of that. What does that look like in relationship on a day-to-day basis? Because I have women get into a relationship and then they're like well, what do we do now, coach Cass? So it's one thing to get a man, but it's another thing to keep him or put him back if he's not the one for you, right? Yeah, then you're like wait, oh no, what is that whole process? So we do a whole beach release we dance, we party, we cry, we have a good time, you know, jen? Oh, that's lovely.

Speaker 1:

So is it like a conference? Is it a retreat? What do we call it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so it's like an unconference, you know, essentially, oh, I like that it's learning, but yeah, and how many days.

Speaker 1:

So tell us more Like when in October is there still more space available?

Speaker 2:

Yes, there's still more space available and for those who heard it here, you can use the code Jen. Ok, Jen, there you go. Ladies E-N-N Go to once.

Speaker 1:

Can I use my own code to show up? Yes, because this sounds amazing. So it's the beginning of October, right? Okay, so we still got plenty of time. Even you know you're listening right now it's September.

Speaker 1:

If you're like, oh my gosh, I've been looking to go and join a community of women, maybe there's a bunch of women from the Speak Honest community. They want to get together and go together. Like listen, ladies, like you know, I say this all the time, but you need, you need to be listening to this information from all these different sources. Okay, because our brains wire this way If we only hear of one source, right, then we just kind of get stuck in this one way. But let's go and listen. No-transcript, no-transcript.

Speaker 1:

Receiving, right, that's not submissive. What does it mean to receive? It means you choose. So that's like in that we, we have full control over all of our relationships. It's just, we have to be intentionally making those choices. And what better way than dancing on the beach, living with other women, like feeling safe and supported and seen in all of these areas and everyone knows I mean, I love a good dance, right, that's like my whole thing too, and so it's like get out there.

Speaker 1:

So how can they find you? Is it wantedwomanlivecom? Is that right they find you. Is it a wanted woman livecom? Is that right? Yeah, that's the okay. So they can go to wanted woman livecom. They can use the code Jen, j, e N N. Get $200 off. Go and join a bunch of women, get plugged in. Grab one of your besties from speak honest. Right, I have. I have the relationship reboot program. We go through a 12 step program to learn how to shift your attachment styles and learn how to communicate securely. Ladies, go, talk this up, go together Like. This is what it's all about. So talk me through what else they might experience at the Wanted Woman Live Unconference, which I love that, by the way. I think that's so fun. What kind of like hours like? Is there group work? There's time off? Of course, it sounds like what if you're like an introvert, are you stuck around people the entire time? Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 2:

So it's a thing right. So you will be gentle to the introverts, it'll be OK, You're fine, we accept you. Introverts rock there too, you know. So essentially we start about nine. It's like nine to five, lunch break, and then we kind of have like a dance party on the first night.

Speaker 1:

And then on the Saturday we have a whole men's panel so you could hear from the me as well. Oh, that's lovely. So you actually bring in like male coaches and the male perspective to really oh, that's really great, that's a really cool idea, yeah for us, that will say sensible things right. Oh yeah, no, they have to be vetted.

Speaker 2:

Yes, that part right. We also are resident sexologists, so I have a year round program where I support women, and so I have some of my experts come and speak. So our sexologist is also coming to talk, because one thing I know is like, who taught us about sex, right?

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, Really, when we think about it really bad shows on television, hearsay and trial and error. You know so I want, I want you to have a great sex life. So we have our sexologists also coming to speak. So you know, overall we end it with a beautiful beach release early morning type of thing. So you fly in Thursday, you fly out Sunday after one o'clock, you make it back for work on Monday. You know so, either way, it's a beautiful time away in the fall. I know most things usually happen in the spring and the summer, but what do you do for you in the fall? So I try to space out my experiences in a way that you always have something good to look forward to. They say vacation, 75% of the happiness is just looking forward to it. You know so we do about three events a year where we support individuals in their love journey in person, and then we also just do fun trips. You know so we have a good time.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I love that so so much, Coach Cass. So where else can people find you? On Instagram, YouTube. Go ahead and drop some more handles.

Speaker 2:

All the things I'm on Instagram at inspiremany, inspiremany, and then on YouTube Coach Cass, right. So if you just put Coach Cass in love, coach, you'll find me.

Speaker 1:

And what if someone is out there looking to be like oh my gosh, I love her vibe. This is exactly what I'm looking for. I want to work with her. Do you take on one-on-one clients? Are you currently just doing programs?

Speaker 2:

Talk me through that. Okay, so far, and few between, I do one-on-one, so we just have to have a conversation. But they could's a great fit, Cause I know for a fact that I'm not a great fit for everyone, right? So I do refer people out and things of that sort, you know, because I I really understand that who hears me is my assignments, you know. So we have real conversations around. If I'm your person and if I am, then we look at what's the best way to support you. Some people are super busy and they just need something quick, and some people are like no, I want to be a part of community. So, yes, we have both options.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's great. I'd love to touch on that real quick, just as a coach, because I think it's so important, especially for my listeners. I always, always say this to them. It's probably terrible business sales concept, but, like in my world, it's like how I've always really felt, which is you need to find the person who works for, like, works with you, and you might like someone might love listening to my podcast, but as a coach, maybe I'm not quite there, maybe I talk too fast, maybe I go too deep in like a specific somatic way or something, and they want to go more goal oriented way. So we go and we find those coaches. I have an entire list of coaches that go on there. In fact, I'd love to make sure I add your information. I love talking with you and making sure that the women who come to me know that there are so many resources out there and if this is why, again, I vet people just like anyone else does. This is why I love Coach Cass, because you heard her say authentically listen, we might not be always a good fit If you're ever out there looking for a therapist or a coach and they say to you oh no, you have to work with me, I'm the only one red flag run away. So we are finding coaches, just like we're finding men. Right, we're being picky, we're being selective, but we're also letting them in, and that's what I want to get across. But we can't do this alone. We need help and it's okay.

Speaker 1:

I know, back in the day, we had, you know, our besties and our aunties and our grandmas and all these people in our lives that, yeah, maybe we could have turned to, and unfortunately, the world looks different. We don't have it, so let us be that. That's what we're here for now. You know, back in the day I've said this before but back in the day we used to grow our own vegetables. We don't do me. I don't know what's going on, like. Why do they have to take one bite out of every cucumber? What is this? Anyways, side tangent why can't you just take one full cucumber squirrel and go on? This is welcome to my ADHD rant. Now, this is what's happening, but you're so sad. The?

Speaker 2:

cucumbers.

Speaker 1:

I know, right, it's like okay, like just leave some for me please, but now we go to the store, right? Or I Instacart it over to my house or something. My point here is is the world shifts, the world changes. If you're sitting there and you're sad that you don't have your bestie, you know, you don't have your aunt or your mother to be able to talk to, we are out there creating communities where this is existing now, and I just want you to know that there's no shame, there's nothing wrong with that. Like this is what we utilize us, use myself, use Coach Cass, use anyone else you've ever listened to. That is my goal for all of you. Is there anything last you would like to say, coach Cass, as we are wrapping up today?

Speaker 2:

I really believe that when love is at the base, everything else falls in place. So continue to walk in love. Don't be ashamed that you desire romantic love and be open to it, instead of saying you know, I need to work on myself, so I need to close this door right. Leave the door open to love, no matter what you're going through, because you just never know when it might pop up. And I believe that for you and that you know for those who are listening, you really are someone's answered prayer and it's for you to believe that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that. Leave the door open to love. That is so, so beautiful. And if you are out there listening right now and you are looking to leave your door open for love, then I highly highly suggest you come and join our free Facebook community over at Speak Honest secure communication for women. We can keep the conversation going there. We can get the links. If you're like Jen, I didn't hear what you said. You can either scroll down to the show notes, go to WantedWomanLivecom, type in the code, jen, or just ask me in the Facebook group.

Speaker 1:

At any time, I hope you all have a beautiful, beautiful week. Coach Cass, thank you so much for coming on and being a part of this community. I hope that you can come on again and we can continue this conversation. And to everyone else, I will speak with you all next week. Take care, be sure to head over to our show notes, where you can find all of the valuable information mentioned in today's episode right there. And please remember to rate, review and subscribe if you enjoyed today's podcast. Your feedback means the world to us and helps others discover our podcast. Until next time, remember to speak up and speak honest.

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Jennifer Noble

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