Speak Honest Podcast: Real Talk on Relationships, Attachment Styles & the Work of Healing Childhood Trauma

The Hidden Link Between People Pleasing and Attachment Styles | My Conversation with People Pleasing Expert Cora Rennie

• Jennifer Noble, ACC | Certified Relationship, Dating, NLP, & IAT Coach

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Have you ever wondered why you say yes when you mean no or why setting boundaries feels downright terrifying, even with people you love?

In this deeply honest and powerful episode, I sit down with Cora Rennie, a craniosacral therapist and recovering people pleaser, to unpack the fawning trauma response and how it shows up in our relationships. Cora opens up about her personal healing journey, including a terrifying stalking experience that led her to confront the patterns that kept her stuck. We explore how people pleasing is more than just a habit... it’s often a deeply wired survival strategy linked to your attachment style.

If you’ve ever felt like you lose yourself in relationships or struggle to find your voice, you are absolutely not alone and this conversation will speak directly to your heart.

You might want to listen if:

  •  You feel like you’re constantly shape-shifting to make others comfortable
  •  You intellectually know your patterns but can’t seem to change them
  •  You’ve been told you're the “good girl” or “too nice,” and it’s draining you
  •  You’ve experienced emotional overwhelm or shutdown when trying to set boundaries
  •  You’re craving real connection but don’t feel safe enough to fully show up

Learn More About Our Guest!

Cora Rennie is a recovering people-pleaser, and identifies as a highly sensitive deep-feeler. Through her training to become a biodynamic craniosacral therapist, Cora gained profound insights into the body's innate wisdom, and learned directly in her own body, the importance of a felt-sense of safety. Cora incorporates the foundations of the cranio modality with her personal gifts and own lifelong healing experiences, to support others in their recovery-of-self processes. 

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DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for spe...

Jenn Noble:

Hello and welcome to Speak Honest. I am your host and certified relationship coach, jennifer Noble. It has been my passion for over a decade to help women like you heal what's been holding you back from having the relationships you deserve. Are you struggling with a relationship where you can't seem to voice your emotions, needs and boundaries without having it blow up in your face? Then you have found the right podcast, my friend. Get ready for practical tips, empowering truths and honest conversations. Now let's dive in.

Jenn Noble:

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Speak Honest. I am Jenn Noble, your go-to relationship coach, and on today's episode I'm so excited to have on a special guest. I'm having on Cora Rennie today and I'm so excited to get to talk to her because I'm actually going to be a part of Cora's summit. That is happening in just like a couple of days, maybe like five days from the time that this is going out, but Cora is hosting an understanding, people pleasing summit and I cannot wait for all of you to get invested and involved in this summit. If you want to join the summit, you can go ahead and scroll on down to the show notes right now and you're going to see a link for you to join the people pleasing summit and from there you're going to fill out the information, and Cora told me that you're going to hear in a little bit that this summit is completely free y'all. I cannot even believe that she is doing all of this completely for free. You can hear it in my conversation with her. But this is where her passion is. This is her mission in life is to not only heal her own people-pleasing patterns, but to help as many women as possible, and that's why, when I chatted with Cora on our summit interview, I immediately connected with her, because I knew this woman has the exact same values that I have. This isn't someone out there just trying to make a quick buck or trying to pretend she's something that she's not. This is someone that's the real deal, someone that is out there looking to help heal women and heal the struggles that we've been through. In fact, you're going to hear a really vulnerable and deep story that she shares that I was just, oh my gosh, overcome with emotion when she started sharing it and I just thought this is going to be really powerful, and I was so honored that she would step in and share that story with us. So let me tell you a little bit about Cora.

Jenn Noble:

Cora Rennie is a recovering people pleaser and identifies as a highly sensitive, deep feeler. Through her training to become a biodynamic craniosacral therapist, cora gained profound insights into the body's innate wisdom and learned directly in her own body the importance of a felt sense of safety. Oh, isn't that just so powerful to hear. She incorporates the foundations of cranial modality with her personal gifts and own lifelong healing experiences. So to pour others in the recovery of self processes. See, she believes that there are key components to true, deep, lasting healing that communicate directly to the physiological wiring of our systems, and providing those elements allows for us to cultivate a deep sense of self resilience and trust. Doesn't that sound amazing? And through Cora's work, she combines an understanding of natural body responses with deeply attuned presence for those who are navigating complex emotional landscapes.

Jenn Noble:

I love this conversation with Cora so much, and I know you're going to love it too. So, as you're listening, I want you to just be really thinking about your own people-pleasing tendencies. Where in your life are you finding similar patterns happening? Maybe not with the same guy as you'll hear Cora talk about. Right, it's not like she dated the same man every time, but she did notice that there was a common denominator and that was herself. So as we continue the conversation, you see where we really pull out her people pleasing and her fawning technique, that you know something she developed early on in childhood and became the good girl and you know, the good student and the straight A, all this stuff and you see where this really starts, and so I hope you enjoy my conversation with Cora.

Jenn Noble:

Hi, Cora, thank you so much for coming on the Speak Honest podcast. I'm so excited to have you here Now. I got to talk with you first and foremost when you were interviewing me for your Understanding People Pleasing Summit and I was so excited to have you on the podcast. We could talk more about this because I am such a recovering people pleaser. It is ridiculous. I need this in my life. But first and foremost, why don't you go ahead and tell my listeners a little bit about yourself? Okay?

Cora Rennie:

so, first of all, I was really excited to have this opportunity to be a guest and to be interviewed by you. It's been a really fun connection. So this is really exciting for me to be a part of all of this and have this, have you now interviewing me so this is fun. So I will say that, like everyone, there's usually one area in your life that's kind of more of a struggle than other areas, and for me it's always been my romantic relationships.

Cora Rennie:

No-transcript, dedicated quite a bit of time to self reflection and wanting to figure it out and wanting to be able to have and create an experience, a healthy relationship, and so, despite reading lots of books and doing different online courses and all these things, I ended up still in several other relationships that still quote unquote failed and it didn't make sense to me. I didn't feel like I was one of those people that was recreating the same pattern over and over again, like every man I entered into relationship with was completely different from any of the other men I had been in relationship with, and some of the dynamics were. They felt like they were completely different. It felt like I was learning different lessons over and over, but it was still not working out and it was quite a painful place to be.

Cora Rennie:

It's like, well, why what's happening? Like I didn't understand and none of the healing work that I had done didn't seem to be making a difference. So lots of shame around all of that and just frustration. And it's like, oh, now my kids have seen me fail at relationship and they don't know what a healthy relationship is like. All of these pieces over and over again. And so what made the difference for me, or some big aha moments in this little journey around relationship, was I was in therapy and relating all of this to my therapist and she's like, well, your fawning response is choosing all your partners for you. And I was like, wow, wait, what? Can you say that again, because I think that's so powerful.

Jenn Noble:

I heard you say your fawning response is choosing all of your partners for you. Is that right? Yeah, so yeah, good stuff.

Cora Rennie:

Yeah, well, and as much as I thought I was being conscious about making choices, that there was this other thing running in my system that was actually running the show and that what it was was a trauma response. So then I had to like what is the fawning response and learning all about that. So that's basically super extreme people pleasing, right, like it's. It's basically you're sensing, potentially, that this person that your relationship with poses some kind of a threat or danger, but it's actually safer to be liked by this dangerous entity and to be on their good side and to be as close to them as possible. It's much safer than otherwise, right? So yeah, so that was like a huge turning point that I had to like unpack all of that and figure that out.

Cora Rennie:

And as I was getting that information, the other thing that was happening in my life was I had entered into a two year program of training to learn craniosacral therapy. So, for anyone that doesn't know, craniosacral therapy is a hands on body work technique. Basically, it's working with the whole system, it's working with the nervous system and it's light touch therapy. It's non-invasive, all these pieces, and a huge part of that therapy is the safety that's established between the practitioner and the body that's on the table. There's this understanding that healing happens when there's safety, and so the practitioner is grounded and secure and really established in the boundaries of their own system and aware of what their system is doing, like in terms of responses and reactions. It's so boundary and there's no intention to manipulate the body on the table, so that creates the safe space.

Cora Rennie:

And, as I was thinking about or considering my ability to be a practitioner and create safe space for another body, so I guess I should backtrack the most recent relationship. Right before I took that training, I ended up dating this man that I. As we were dating, I knew it wasn't a fit, so I ended the relationship. He then started stalking me.

Jenn Noble:

Oh, no, and so yeah.

Cora Rennie:

So I don't know if we need to say like trigger warning or whatever so no physical danger was done A lot of emotional danger in that, though, isn't there.

Cora Rennie:

Totally Like just boundary violation after boundary violation, of like having to block numbers and then he would find a different number to reach me, or blocking the email, and him driving by my house all the time, driving by my workplace all the time. All of these pieces. And there was one day where he did come knocking on my door after he was blocked in all the different ways and I ended up far away from my home, hiding in a closet, hearing him outside calling my name, knocking on my door and not sure if he was actually going to come in or not, knowing that he could if he wanted to get into my house.

Jenn Noble:

What was that like for you in that moment? Sorry, can I like it's okay to interrupt because I just want to dig into that, because that's such a big thing that you went through, and I think it's powerful of watching where you've come on the other side. So what was that like for you in the moment?

Cora Rennie:

I was hiding in the closet and it was like time stood still because I totally completely felt powerless. My mind kind of went through these little can I get out of the house? Can I get to my phone, can I? I'm like nope, nope, nope, none of these things. He's a big man. It doesn't matter. Women in general are not as strong as men. Even if you're the same size, even if the man's a little bit smaller than you, he probably has more strength in his hands, all of these things.

Cora Rennie:

So, yeah, I felt in my mind the story to hold myself around that incident was that that was the first time in my entire life and I was 48 at the time that I felt unsafe in the world, and I do want to bring that back to people pleasing later. But yeah, it was hiding in the closet, unable to breathe. My heart's in my throat, I feel like vomiting. Like time stood still waiting to hear, like I was hyper tuned to any sound and just not sure what I would do if he actually entered the house. He ended up not entering the house. I called the police Good for you and they charged him with harassing communications, and so what I didn't know was that he had done this to another woman in the community before.

Cora Rennie:

We were in a pretty small town. But yeah, so this was his pattern, this was his crazy came out and yeah, so then what happened with that? Was that basically the same, the same conditions as a restraining order. So there were legal charges in place that he couldn't contact me or come within a certain distance of me and like all these things. So that did create some safety, except we were in a small town sorry, a small town and I still saw his vehicle driving around all the time. I ended up leaving that small town so that I could feel safe, shopping at Walmart again.

Jenn Noble:

Again. Good for you. I'm seeing how you yourself are are breaking some of these, these people pleasing this fawning response by like not thinking I just have to stay in town, I have to be okay, but that somatic response inside of your body every time you saw that car, I can only imagine my body right now is on edge for you. So in the moment. So, yeah, continue please.

Cora Rennie:

I'm now in training for craniosacral therapy. My concern was can I create safety for somebody? Because I felt like that trauma wasn't fully healed in my system of that experience with the stalker and I didn't know if I could create safety for another person if my system still felt unsafe. And I'm going to go get some water.

Jenn Noble:

Yeah, perfectly fine.

Cora Rennie:

Take your time, okay. So, and I also will say it's interesting to me that this is coming up, because sometimes in sessions, like in craniosacral sessions, coughing will happen and it's often like related to a vagus nerve response, and vagus nerve is all about nervous system stuff.

Jenn Noble:

I was actually literally thinking the same thing. I was thinking like, oh no, this makes a lot of sense that you're having this come up right now, Like with the work that I do, I was like, yeah, that tracks.

Cora Rennie:

So so yeah, so keep going, yeah, okay, okay, we'll try to keep going and I hopefully anyways, as I started experiencing felt senses of safety in my system, I and I started to get the felt sense of sort of more subtle sensations of safety. I began to understand that actually the story that I had, that there was that one incident that made me feel unsafe in the world, was not true, that I actually have been feeling unsafe in the world for 50, like I'm now 50. So at the time, 48 years, not just that one incident when I was 48. So that's what made me understand that I've been a people pleaser my whole life.

Cora Rennie:

Yeah, so as a young girl I was quiet and shy like these little labels get applied right. I was a good girl. I was a star student. I was then later like a star employee. I was liked by everybody but didn't have a lot of close friends, all these little pieces. Definitely perfectionist, definitely had social anxiety my whole life, like all these things. I thought I was introverted, but I would say now that I was just pardon me.

Jenn Noble:

Actually, cora, I would love to bring this up real quick, because what's happening right now in your body is you're having a cough come up, right, and now some of this might be edited out, but actually I think it's going to keep happening, and so I want to really honor this part of your body happening right now. Would it be okay if we honor this and keep this in?

Cora Rennie:

Yeah, I'm good with that.

Jenn Noble:

You're telling this incredible story and I think what's happening and you know this as well is your body is reacting, isn't it?

Cora Rennie:

Yeah, and some people know this story, but this is the first time of me telling this story quite like this, so it makes sense that yeah, this is so powerful, and having your voice be heard, having your story be heard, I think, is so incredibly powerful.

Jenn Noble:

But we can see how even your body is almost, to an extent, like overwhelmed, shutting down slightly, like the cough coming into the mouth. I would say that's a somatic response of just being like it's caught right here in your throat. What is that like for you right now, as you're trying to get this story out? But you're feeling this happen in your body right now.

Cora Rennie:

Yeah, oh, it's frustrating, it's like, but I want to say it yeah. So even now your body's like yeah, and I want it to be clear.

Jenn Noble:

I think this is powerful for people listening to hear, like here is someone who is working through this, has learned about her people pleasing, you know has gone on to learn it's craniosacral therapy. Is that right? Okay, You'll have to tell me more about that.

Cora Rennie:

I genuinely actually have no idea what this is, so this is perfect.

Jenn Noble:

All of this stuff is to say it still happens to us. You are empowered in telling the story. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you might still have some hint of fear. But I can also see it in your face, like there's a power in you as you're telling the story and yet still there's this hint of something holding us back. And that happens, doesn't it? And that's okay and we can honor that part of ourselves. So I want to say now to your body, and just to your throat and to your cough, that if it needs to come up at any time during this, we will leave in every cough if we have to, because it's part of you and it's part of your story and I think it's beautiful.

Cora Rennie:

That is really beautiful, because I did have a friend and she's like I'm so excited that you're going to be on this podcast, you get to speak about yourself, and she's like, just remember, all parts are welcome. So it's just beautiful that you just said that, oh, I love her, I want to be her friend now too. Yes, exactly that's exactly it.

Jenn Noble:

All parts are welcome, even whatever it is this cough is doing to like, it's just, it's there and it's part of you and I just I adore it as well, so please continue, but thank you so much for letting us keep this in.

Cora Rennie:

Yeah, so that was the realization that I, as a person who you know just was like that's just how I'm wired.

Cora Rennie:

I'm just introverted, I just prefer to be alone.

Cora Rennie:

But the reality is, once I began to understand my people pleasing as a protective response and started understanding and being able to connect to some of the wants and deniers and desires and needs that are underneath that protective response, I have a deep desire for close connection, and so it's kind of wild that I would even think that I prefer my own company and never to have anybody else around. But it's because, as a people pleaser, when you're like shape shifting and morphing to fit all of the like, it takes so much energy to be constantly reading other people and then presenting the version of yourself that they will accept. It takes so much energy that, of course, it feels better to be alone, where you don't have to use that much energy, feels better but also doesn't feel better because there's a deep loneliness there as well. So I will still say I do still believe I'm introverted in terms of I recharge with alone time, but I can't just be alone all the time. I need the deep connections, I need depth, I need depth of intimacy.

Jenn Noble:

And it sounds like now you're able to get that a little bit more. And I'm sure you know you're not perfect at it yet. None of us are right, but you're going into these social situations and, like you said, you're, you're feeling what all these people are feeling. You're, you're sensing them. I would call this as well in my world, this perception, sensitivity that we have where. What are they thinking of me right now? What's happening? I'm going to move my head slightly. This way Did I accidentally turn away from someone? And it is like a superpower, isn't it? It's like you can walk into a room and you're just like hypervigilance everywhere. But you're right, it drains us, doesn't it? Now, to someone out there listening right now, and they're like holy shit, this happens to me. I didn't know that this was people pleasing. What would you say to them in terms of how can they start to work through?

Cora Rennie:

this. Oh, that's big. All right, let's start small. How did you start to work through it? Oh, okay, you know what it's.

Cora Rennie:

The things that I learned as the basis for healing through the craniosacral therapy have been pretty pivotal in my healing journey. So craniosacral therapy the word comes from cranium down to sacrum, so we're really intent on basically the nervous system, basically the brain of your body, but also what the what I have learned is biodynamic craniosacral therapy, and that's sort of a version of the work that really orients to the health in the system. So there's this understanding that the body has its own wisdom and it knows well, there's a couple pieces to that. So the body is intent on protecting you, it's intent on survival, it's intent on living like there's such a drive to live and survive and ultimately to thrive. But these protective mechanisms come in so that we can continue to function. So anything that we consider as a symptom, whether that's a behavior pattern, whether that's a pain in your body, is actually an expression of health, because that means that the body has done something, or your system has done something, to be able to allow the whole of the system to continue to function. And then, when your system has access to safety and resource, then the body gets to complete whatever process that started to resolve whatever was initially overwhelming to the system.

Cora Rennie:

I think that reframe, that anything that I feel might be problematic in my body or in my behaviors or in myself, is actually just an expression of health and if I can support my system by providing safety and resource, then that gets to complete. Like that's been huge. And so it's that element of safety and being able to provide safety to the part when we talk about parts to the parts of myself like to understand that there's, there's a part of me that's afraid of whatever and I can tend to that part and help that part feel safe. And there's different ways that safety can come. Touch is huge. Like to have safe touch, non-invasive touch that doesn't need anything from you. That is huge.

Cora Rennie:

But even without the ability to have that in-person connection with another being, there's still ways that we can, because touch and connection are the same, so we can connect to the parts of us. So, similarly to what you just demonstrated for everybody, is how you connected to that part like because I haven't talked in a while, but how you connected to that part of me. That was like trying to express you created connection there and that that allowed something to shift and so we could do that for ourselves. Yeah, so that, like when you talk about where do you start for healing, like I think creating a bit of a shift around is because I Like there's so much messaging out there around just don't continue to play small, be authentic, show up as your whole self, use your voice, set the boundaries, do all the. Yeah. Oh, I wish I would love that there's a part of me that wants that.

Jenn Noble:

That's obvious. We could. Yeah, you know, if I could do that, I would be doing it.

Cora Rennie:

Yeah, exactly, and so there's a lot of shame and judgment, and then people see people pleasing as a character flaw.

Cora Rennie:

Well, no, this is.

Cora Rennie:

This is how your system protected you and kept you safe from a perceived danger, and so there's a lot of grace around that and actually even space for gratitude around that, and so that mind shift is huge and then creating safety is like the other big piece.

Cora Rennie:

So that's like for me, it's having information helps, like it's not the whole piece, but that's part of for me, it's having information helps like it's not the whole piece, but that's part of why I created the summit, because there are all these like there are all these things that I did not know about women's bodies, about women's nervous systems, about our hormones and about attachment wounding and like that's what we spoke about, like all of these really big pieces that once you have access to those other parts of the story, it just puts everything in context and allows for a lot of just a lot more understanding, compassion, like towards the self yeah, I'm loving hearing you talk about this because and I can't wait to dig into the other interviews you've had with the other experts that you're having on the summit because, as I'm hearing you talk, I realize, oh, a lot of what you're saying is a lot of what I do with my clients.

Jenn Noble:

You know a lot of the safety. I do parts work with my clients, which is the IFS work with Richard Schwartz, right, and so you're talking about your parts and I'll speak to their parts and we create safety and we always thank ourselves for the conditioning and the attachment, right, we don't blame ourselves all this stuff and you can see how there is not only one way to do this.

Jenn Noble:

We all come at this and I'm seeing this. There's a larger collective right, the conscious, unconscious of it, all of everyone starting to kind of level up in their healing to see like we need to stop with the blaming and the shaming and the fault finding and all of this stuff going on. And even our people pleasing is just a maladaptive coping mechanism. It's something we put on to try to keep us safe and, as I often say, we just have to ask ourselves now, do we still want to wear this coat? Do we want to wear this people pleasing coat? Is it serving us or do we want to take it off now?

Jenn Noble:

So tell me, of all of the people you've been interviewing and I know you have more to go because you've been working so hard on doing this I cannot wait for it to come out. And also, just real quick, I want to tell anyone if you're like, what the heck are they talking about? There is going to be the most amazing summit. On May 20th is when the first videos are going to be coming out. Is that right? That's right, that's right. And it is called the Understanding People-Pleasing Summit, which I myself am a part of, as are so many other amazing experts, and so I want to know what have you learned so far? Like can you give us some sneak peeks? Like can you tease?

Cora Rennie:

us a little bit of like what's to come, yeah, Okay. So yeah, there's going to be a total of, I think, 33. There's over 30. There's over 30 conversations that are happening and yeah, so we speak about trauma responses. We speak about why the female nervous system is more prone to go into dissociation and fawning because of our perceived ability to also then stress hormones, how that can impact our people pleasing behavior. We speak a little bit about the societal conditioning, just how women are just raised differently, Like we're raised to be seen and not heard. We're raised to be quiet, we're raised to be polite, All these little pieces. There's some great conversation around different relationships. So I spoke earlier about that. My area of struggle has always been romantic relationships, but people pleasing shows up in how we relate to everything. So we have conversation around people pleasing and money, people pleasing and food. People pleasing in the realm of parenting we speak about well with you. We speak about the attachment styles, attachment wounding. I have someone else speaking about the mother wound specifically.

Jenn Noble:

Oh, I'm excited for that one I really was trying to. I've been learning more and more about that lately, of like, oh, the mother wound, the father wound, the sister wound, all these things. I'm like, okay, where is that coming from? So I can't wait for that one.

Cora Rennie:

Yeah.

Jenn Noble:

But you you bring up such a good point in terms of women really are just told, like you know, we're meant to be the caregivers, right?

Jenn Noble:

And there's a level of feminine energy to that right. We are nurturers, we are caretakers, we are receiving, sure, but to truly have wholeness right, we have to integrate both the the feminine and the masculine, the yin and the yang, depending on whatever it is you want to call it, and that makes so much sense, and we've kind of lost that part of ourselves. I was thinking, because I have a little quote back here which is like well-behaved women rarely make history, and so I myself, I've been the type of person that has. I've been loud, I've been boisterous, I've never known when to shut up, right, I've always said the thing that nobody else is saying in the room. I have a quite a masculine energy and, as a result, I've almost kind of lost my womanhood because of that Like.

Jenn Noble:

It's like oh, you know, you're not a good, I wasn't the good girl, you know, I was the one sent to detention all the time. I was the one that always got in trouble, I was the one that people would roll their eyes at me. I failed out of college, all of this stuff, and so I love watching our two perspectives as women. But you see how we both struggled here. You are perceived as the perfect the good girl over here and here I am like the unruly one over here and yet look at us still as we're trying to go along. Our romantic relationships are blowing up in our faces maybe some of our friendships, our families, anything like that and we're done with this. And it's like wait a second. We let's like pull this power together and I love that's what I get. I love getting to know you, cora, because I really love the connection and I love it when other women are looking to help lift up other women. I think that's like our power, isn't it? Yeah?

Cora Rennie:

And I would love to speak to that for a minute, because I could see that my trend so, with my people pleasing my phone and response it's like I had this belief or this, this attachment to if I just find the right partner, that that's gonna make me feel really great in my life, and so I was putting so much on like, whoever my partner was at the time, that was my best friend in life. I didn't have a lot of other friends. I didn't have a lot of friendships with women. It wasn't until I started really like that my body was starting to release some of the trauma responses that were running in my system that I became open to connecting to other women in a different way, and so it was really beautiful for me that in my craniosacral therapy training it was actually a group of all women, so there were 12 of us, and so we were in this healing space together, sharing and connecting.

Cora Rennie:

And then I noticed that there was another group that I was involved in was actually through victim services after having an experience with a stalker but that was a group of women and we were all sharing and healing together. And then at my workplace I was like, oh, look at all these women Like there. All of a sudden I was like there were just so many different circles of women that were showing up in my life, in different areas of my life, and it had never existed for me before. I thought that I needed protection and that I could get that from a relationship with a man, that a man would protect me. And it was after starting to heal through some of that like and I still do like I do have a man in my life.

Jenn Noble:

I want a man in my life like that's important to me still.

Cora Rennie:

But that relationship doesn't provide all of the things that I want and need, like I was putting that on relationship before and that doesn't belong there there.

Cora Rennie:

So part of our like social nervous system and our ability to connect so when our system shuts down or we dissociate, our ability to connect socially also kind of gets shut down, and so when some of the trauma is released people pleasing behaviors get released, like all these things then you don't even have to work at it, it just starts to open up. And so what started to open up for me were all these relationships with women and sisterhood and it's like we are so able to uplift and support and nurture and admire and respect and love on each other and protect each other, and so when you have that sense of community, that's a whole other level of resource and safety that really enriches your life. So even for the summit, part of me is like, do I just want all women speakers? And I kind of did. I do have a couple of male speakers and they're really valuable conversations. But yeah, there is something We'll let them in sometimes.

Jenn Noble:

But, you know, they got to keep, they got to check themselves. That's all I'm saying.

Cora Rennie:

But you know, it's just like that for me, I would say is probably for sure in my mind. I'm like, if I can heal this people pleasing thing and just have a healthy relationship with a man, that's the goal and I'll be all, that's what I want in my life. But really all of these other gifts have come, and sisterhood is for sure, like that sisterhood community. That's one of them, and so that's kind of what's on the other side of being able to heal through some of these patterns is relationships of all kinds.

Jenn Noble:

Yeah, I really love how you said there was this moment when you were saying, like I wanted a man because I thought he was going to protect me. What I started visualizing in that moment was like, instead, I got this sisterhood and like, girl, we will protect you, right, like that is what we do now and I say this often to my clients but you want to be able to choose your partner, not need them.

Cora Rennie:

Of course yes, and right.

Jenn Noble:

There is like what you basically said, which was now you have this beautiful partner, but you don't need him. You don't need him to protect you, you don't need him to fulfill your needs, you don't need him for the closeness you choose him every day because you want him in your life, but now, because you have all these other rich relationships going on, he gets to just be one of them in your big juicy life. And that is all I could ever ask my clients to get to. So like thank you for just sharing how you got there on your own, through your own way of doing this and through healing yourself. And, like all of us, right, we're still a work in progress and so we're going to hit those bumps in the road and we're going to keep going. But I just want to say thank you so much for coming on the podcast Cora and for sharing about so vulnerably and so open about your experience.

Jenn Noble:

I can already tell I can already think of just a few women that I know are listening that I really hope they listen to this one. I think it's going to be really, really powerful to them and they're just going to like get chills all over their body and be like, oh my God, how did she do this? How did it heal? But let me know, how can people find you, if they just want to get to know you more, or if they just want to come join the summit, any of that, just tell us. You know, promote yourself, girl.

Cora Rennie:

Let's go, okay, well the link for the summit is going to be in the show notes, as you said.

Jenn Noble:

Yes, we're going to put that right in the show notes. So anyone who wants to come to the summit May 20th, you're just going to come. It's going to be there. Remind me, Cora, does it cost anything to join, Do we?

Cora Rennie:

know that. So it is a free summit. Oh yay, Look at that, ladies. What a gift. So there's going to be two or three videos each day over 14 days, and they will be accessible for the 24 hour period for free.

Jenn Noble:

That is, oh, just honestly, what a gift to women, especially for people. Pleasing Like this is just a no brainer. You pleasing Like this is just a no brainer. You got to go to the link, you got to sign up right now. You got to see all of these experts, listen to all of them, and Cora is going to be there with each and every one of them, interviewing them and walking them along. So if you've enjoyed listening to her as much as I have right now, like you are going to love listening to her, be able to walk through people and I myself. Right, we have an interview, so I'll let people know when that one comes up. How else can people find you?

Cora Rennie:

Yeah, probably the best place to follow me is on Instagram. I try to be really like boundary around social media, but the one place that I am on is Instagram, so it's at cranio with Cora.

Jenn Noble:

Perfect, Go follow Cora on there, and I would love to have you back on to really dive deep into the craniosacral therapy, because I feel like we just scratched the surface on that. I have so many questions. I want to know, like what do you do? Like I heard you say you could do it in person but also online, and so now my brain is like kind of going a mile a minute, like what is this new modality that I could get into my geeky brain always, but again.

Cora Rennie:

I love it.

Jenn Noble:

Thank you so much for coming on. I can't wait for the summit to drop and I hope to have you on again.

Cora Rennie:

Thank you. This was such a joy. I just, yeah, I appreciate you and your just how you like in the moment kind of coached me and helped me through like what was coming up in my system that I really didn't anticipate. So I just appreciate your graciousness and allowing it all just to be, and it was just a really fun conversation. Thank you so much.

Jenn Noble:

Thank you so much, cora conversation. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, cora. I am so glad I got to get Cora to come on the podcast with me and share more of her story Again. I don't know about you, but I was just overcome with emotion listening to her story and just the power behind her struggle, but also to see how she overcame that, to see where she found her power to come back to fight it and to change those parts of herself. Not because she's broken, not because there's anything wrong with her, not because she's at fault, but because she knew she deserved something better. And you can really hear that in her conversation and you can see, you know, as she starts talking, that she doesn't need a man anymore to protect her.

Jenn Noble:

And I want anyone out there listening right now to hear that, okay, you do not need a man, do you hear me? In fact, you don't need anyone, it's true, but you choose them, don't you? That's the best part. We don't need a man in our life to protect us. We should have plenty of people around us doing that, and if not, then why don't you come and get plugged into our community over at Speak Honest? We would love to be a protective community for you, so that way you can get to a place where you choose your partner. You don't need them.

Jenn Noble:

And now, if you've been listening along and you want to just catch up on more of this people pleasing, I highly, highly, highly suggest you scroll on down to the show notes right now. Do not wait. Click on that link that says join the people pleasing summit and come and be a part of this amazing event that Cora is putting on for all of us. You'll see a video from me in there, but you're going to see videos from 30 other experts. Where else can you get this information completely for free?

Jenn Noble:

I don't know about you, but I literally myself cannot wait to dig and hear every single one of these experts and how they're talking about getting and helping their people pleasing and the modalities that they work, because that's one of my favorite things as a coach is my way is not the only way. This is just what works well for me and as I continue on in my healing journey and as I learn and I learn more modalities, I'm currently actually in a certification course right now, called the Somatic Attachment Therapy course. It's been a game changer for me and I'm constantly learning and growing, so I can't wait to learn from these other experts as well. So if you want to be a part of the People Pleasing Summit, scroll down to the show notes, click on the link and I will see you over there.

Jenn Noble:

But until next time, take care, as we wrap up today's conversation, always remember that healing is a journey, not a destination, and it is an honor to be a part of your healing journey. If you want to dig deeper into the topics we covered today, be sure to head over to our show notes, where you can find all of the valuable information mentioned in today's episode right there. And please remember to rate, review and subscribe if you enjoyed today's podcast. Your feedback means the world to us and helps others discover our podcast. Until next time, remember to speak up and speak honest.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Jennifer Noble

Host
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Cora Rennie

Guest

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