61. The Radical Art of Compassionate Parenting with Lara Pitocchi

Are you ready to shatter generational parenting patterns and build unbreakable bonds with your kids? In this raw, honest conversation, Lara Pitocchi reveals her proven strategies for breaking toxic cycles and creating connection-based parenting that heals both parent and child.

You might want to listen if:

• You're repeating your own childhood trauma with your kids
• Communication with your children feels impossible
• You're drowning in parenting guilt and shame
• You want to learn emotional intelligence strategies
• You're committed to becoming a cycle-breaking parent

More info about Lara!

• The Cyclebreaker Parenting Hub | Facebook 
• Closed Door Quiz & Mini-Toolkit 
• Words that Work eBook

👉 Speak Honest Podcast Special Pricing Code: 9GNF3KUK

Lara Pitocchi is a parent coach, educator, and creator of The Cyclebreakers Success System, a signature 12-week group coaching program designed to help parents break free from the harmful patterns they swore they’d never repeat. With over 25 years in education, a Master’s in Educational Leadership, and a background in special education, Lara spent years working with thousands of children and families but nothing challenged her more than parenting her own child.

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DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for accuracy but are not liable for errors or outcomes fr...

Transcript

 Hello and welcome to Speak Honest. I am your host and certified relationship coach, Jennifer Noble. It has been my passion for over a decade to help women like you heal what's been holding you back from having the relationships you deserve? Are you struggling with a relationship where you can't seem to voice your emotions, needs, and boundaries without having it blow up in your face? Then you have found the right podcast, my friend, get ready for practical tips, empowering truths and honest conversations. Now let's dive in. 

Jenn Noble

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Speak Honest. I'm Jenn Noble, your go-to relationship coach. And on today's episode, I have a lovely guest on. So excited. We have Lara Pitocchi with us. Now, Lara is a colleague and a friend of mine. So I was so excited when she agreed to come on the podcast.

Her and I actually have been through similar coaching programs together and learned how to build our business together. And it's just a big old thing that we're doing. And we have a group of other ladies that we hang out with and she's part of my community, part of my women that helped make up my life. And so when I was talking to her about her parenting program, I was like, my gosh, I think that my listeners need to hear about this. So let me tell you a little bit about Lara. She is a parent coach, educator and creator of the Cycle Breaker Success System, which is a signature 12-week group coaching program designed to help parents break free from the harmful patterns they swore they would never repeat. I don't know about you, but that definitely sounds like me. With my 13-year-old son, I kept saying, I'm never going to act like my mother. And then it turns out I am completely turning into my mother, but not anymore because I am healing. That is true.

But Lara has over 25 years in education, a master's in educational leadership and a background in special education. You guys, she knows her shit. This isn't just some rando coming out there trying to tell you what to do. She knows what it's like to be in the trenches because even with everything she knows, she found herself stuck in the same cycles of power struggles and disconnection that she had desperately tried to avoid her entire life with her child. 

But that's when she went all in on rewiring old parenting scripts and she created a framework for calm, connection, and cooperation without reacting, without punishing, or without losing herself in the process. Doesn't that just sound amazing? I can not wait for you guys to listen to this conversation with Lara. And we're gonna offer some goodies and some special gifts at the end. And so in the show notes, go check it out. You can grab her ebook, which is fantastic. It's wonderful. And also you can join her Facebook group. So her Facebook group is the Cycle Breaker Parenting Hub. And we'll talk about it more in the conversation. But I wanted to give you a heads up. Scroll on down to the show notes, click on those links. Get to know Lara, she's amazing. If you have children, you're definitely gonna wanna listen to this episode. And I hope you enjoy my conversation with Lara.

Jenn Noble 

Hey, Lara, thank you so much for agreeing to come on the podcast with me today. I am so excited to get to talk with you. Now, I gave everyone a little bit of an intro already about who you are, but I want to know from you, tell me about what you do.

Lara Pitocchi 

Yes. Thank you, Jenn. I am also super pumped to be here with you today. so what I do is I help cycle breaking parents. I help cycle breaker parents shift towards connection-based parenting so they can build bonds that are unbreakable with their children.

Jenn Noble

I'd love to hear that so much. Tell me more about Cycle Breakers. What does this word mean?

Lara Pitocchi

Yes, yes. Often, the way we were raised really influences how we parent. And even for parents who want to parent differently, they often fall into the trap. I'll just use myself as an example of, I decided to do. I'm going to do the opposite, right? I'm just going to do the opposite of what my parents did and that'll make me a cycle breaker and we'll be all good.

I mean, you know, basically the first 10 years was okay. I mean, there were times where I would be very reactive, get overwhelmed and flooded with emotions and not know why. And, but by the time 11, 12, 13, that's when I noticed my child was just disconnecting from me. And...

You know, I was just talking about this yesterday in my Facebook group with my group members, the Cyclebreaker Parenting Hub. And, you know, you ever had one of those conversations with your child where you just keep trying to fix it, but you can see it going south? Yeah, exactly. And you're sitting there like, what the heck? Like, I'm being really super patient, like compared to my parents, I'm being like super parent.

Jenn Noble 

It's just getting worse and worse and it's just blowing up in your face. Absolutely.

Lara Pitocch

But I just, I did not understand what was going on. And of course I was filled with shame. So I suffered like that for so long. And that's why I want to help parents override those scripts that keep the words that keep coming out when we don't want them to. They come out and you're like, Right. Exactly. I mean, it even shocks you sometimes you're like,

Jenn Noble

Yeah, no, stop it. back in there. Why do I sound like my mother? What is happening? Yeah. You're like, my God, I've turned into my mother. no. It's the worst thing that could happen. I love this so much. And this is why I wanted to have you on because I think a lot of what we do is very similar, but we've gone in two different directions, right? Which is why I think it's so important for us though, to be mindful of how our childhood has affected us. Now I think you would agree with me on this. For those of us that do childhood work, trauma work, all this stuff, we're not trying to blame our parents, are we?

Lara Pitocchi

That is such a good point. I'm so glad you mentioned that Jenn because that is You know, it's a journey. It's a healing journey and and honestly In my work, that's where we begin we begin with you Because that's where all this stuff is and often we just go through life and we're not aware we're not even aware of What these scripts are? What's running in the background? even like some trapped beliefs in there that don't align with who you authentically are. So that's why you kind of, say and do things with your children and afterwards you're like, my God, I should not have done that. I feel so guilty and the guilt and the shame and you don't even know what you should have said, right?

Jenn Noble

Yeah, and because it just got ingrained in us. We talk about this a lot in my program, but we have to work on what I call attachment wounds. Limited beliefs are another word, core wounds is another word. So if anyone is out there and they're like, this sounds familiar, it's because it's all kind of the same. Let's be really honest. We're all learning about it. We're all figuring this stuff out. And what I really want to be mindful of is as we talk about this and we talk about, you know, this stuff happened to us in childhood or for myself, you I was called difficult or annoying, or I was perceived as a burden, or I was always in the way, Jenny, get out of the way, what are you doing? You know, all this stuff. Like my parents did the best they could with the tools that they had.

Lara Pitocchi 

That's the thing. you know, my family, I'm just going to go into a little background here. My family is riddled with people going no contact. And, you know, for me, it started, you know, when I was 18, I didn't even make it to college. I ran away before that happened. And, you know, I was miserable. was miserable. But so I was no contact. My brother has been no contact with my parents unfortunately, here's a great cycle. This is a demonstration of how cycles work. My child had to go no contact with their father. And that for me, like I was, and it was so painful. It was painful for my child. It was painful for my ex-husband. so this is really my why, because like you said,

It's not about never speaking to your parents again. It's about healing. It's about self-awareness. It's about learning about emotions, which in my house, we only had one, which was anger. So it's learning. And then after you do all that work, then you and I kind of cross because then it's how do you talk to your kid about emotions? How do you teach your kid about emotions?

Jenn Noble

Yeah, and so many times people want to jump into that, right? They want to jump into, okay, but what do I say? How do I act? What do I do? What do I get? How do I get them to clean the room? How do I get them to do this? All this stuff. But what you really work on is, and thank you so much, by the way, for just being so open and transparent. I think it's going to help so many women to hear just the struggles that we're all going through here, right? Like it's we're all a part of this process. But what I really hear you saying is it starts with you.

So tell me a little bit about how you work with your clients and how you get them through this.

Lara Pitocchi

Right. So in my 12 week coaching program, the Cycle Breaker Success System, the first, I don't know, I'd say about four to five weeks, four weeks is focused on you. And that's the difference. This is not just a parenting situation. This is a healing situation. This is a understanding.

why you're saying words that don't align with you, getting to the root of that. And then you have to start from kind of ground zero, building emotional intelligence, And awareness. And then we move into communication strategies and then building processes that will ensure that you are able to build unbreakable bonds because that's the goal, right? I don't want anyone to have their children go no contact on them. It's so painful.

Jenn Noble 

Right, I can only imagine. I mean, that's the scary part, right? We have our children, we wanna love them, we wanna be a part of their lives and then to know that, oh my gosh, something has happened. But even in that moment, let's say there's a listener out there and their child has gone no contact with them or something didn't go the way they expected and it happens, it's okay. The kids get older. I know I have a lot of clients and listeners who are in that stage, the kid's 18, so now.

Jenn Noble 

They're divorcing and separating and the kid is frustrated and upset. What can a woman do in this moment to really get back on track? How can she break the cycle that she's been, you know, weighed down with her entire life?

Lara Pitocchi

Right, right. And often what I see and hear about is when the kids go no contact, there's like an externalizing of why. It's a lot of times blaming the children, right? They're spoiled, they're entitled, they're not respecting me, they're not grateful, right? And so those mindsets and beliefs limiting beliefs about how you see yourself as a parent, how you see your child as a person, a human. That's where they have to start. You have to start going deep inside you. Because that's when it gets hard. When somebody's gone no contact and they're over 18, they don't have to talk to you. You have to listen to them and hear them and you're not ready to do that until you explore what's really happening inside of your hidden subconscious. So that's what I would say. I would say that mindset is the first thing that has to switch a row. Growing self-compassion then in order to give compassion to others. We need to be self compassionate and cycle breakers are often very difficult on themselves. So of course they then become difficult on their kids.

Jenn Noble 

Yeah, it's just the projection of what's going on inside of you. Yeah. Which, where did they get it from? Their parents, which is why you talk about cycle breaking. It's not your fault that this is happening, but it is our responsibility to do something about it, right? If our child is, you know, so have a 13 year old, so I'm not quite into that realms yet. I'm sure I'll do something that really pisses him off and like sets him off to some extent soon. But I've kind of gotten to that understanding of he's just a fully autonomous being. He is just, yeah, he's not an extension of me. He's gonna figure himself out. And if he gets older and he does decide to go no contact or something happens, the first question I'm gonna ask isn't some victim mindset woe is me of like, my gosh, he's terrible or what did I do to raise such an ungrateful child? I'm hearing my own kind of family's voices in my own head right there as I say that.

Jenn Noble 

And instead I asked the question, or just get curious and be like, sweetheart, I respect that and I understand that. And I have a sneaking suspicion if you can be that respectful, it's not gonna last that long then, right? That's kind of the first step of just really letting them be. They have to go through it. Teenagers have to go through it. Their literal job is to disconnect from us. So like.

Lara Pitocchi

That's right. And to fight us. mean, you know, yeah. 

Jenn Noble 

Exactly! Yeah. Like, we can't love each other for too long or we would never let them leave, right? We have to be annoyed with each other at some point in time.

Lara Pitocchi 

Yes, I often say it's like pregnancy. By the time you're at the ninth month, you're like, I don't care how the baby comes out. Just get the baby out. So by the time they're 18, you're like, I don't care how the baby gets.

Jenn Noble 

Yeah, exactly. You're like, just get going. Just shoo. Yeah. And so that sometimes is going to look, I love someone that I really love in the work of parenting is Gabor Mate. People who know me know I adore that man. I'm in his Compassion and Inquiry program. He talks about what it's like with his adult son, Daniel. And in fact, they just put out a course together about how to build a relationship in adulthood with your with your parent again, which I think is it's exactly like what needs to be out there because it's so hard to be kind of that cycle breaker and trying to have that relationship with your parent again and all your parent is still saying is you're ungrateful and you never called me enough.

Lara Pitocchi 

Yes, yes, my parents are never gonna change. They're never gonna change.

Jenn Noble 

No, exactly. Yeah. And if they do, mean, great, but we don't expect that. And the best part is just kind of owning those moments of mistakes, quote unquote mistakes that we made with our own children growing up. so how do you handle that? How do you kind of handle that guilt and shame with your clients when they come to you they're like, there's no changing this, Lara. Like we are just I broke him. I you know, I screwed up. Everything's my fault. Like, He's never coming back.

Lara Pitocchi

Right, that is an excellent question. And funnily enough, I just did a live session in the Cycle Breaker parenting hub. This month, I'm kind of focusing on, I use nonviolent communication, Dr. Rosenberg, yes. His methodology for resolving conflict or when you have an unmet need, the four step conscious dialogue.

Jenn Noble 

It's the best. Yeah, I'm trained in that. That's what I try to teach people to do a lot of my communication stuff. It is, it's stellar.

Lara Pitocchi

That's what I teach in my program. because, I mean, when you use it and you do it, you know, intentional about planning what you're gonna say, man, it's like 180, right? It's amazing. Your kid is just like right there with you. And the more, and that's what I tell parents that, and here's the thing, if they follow Instagram people who are giving them scripts to say in certain situation and all this, they're...When you get stressed and overwhelmed with life or whatever, just those automatic scripts take over because you don't have the cognitive brain juice, I call it, to over... Right? You don't have that to override these things. So what I teach in bite-sized little chunks in the group is simple communication hacks.

I'm doing the four D's of disconnection this month. And we did, yeah, yeah, we did diagnosis yesterday, which means, you know, when a doctor diagnoses you, they tell you what's wrong with you. And when parents tell you what's wrong with you, that's your self-talk when you're an adult, right? So, teach people how to make simple little communication shifts that also shift mindset, right?

Jenn Noble 

Now, I want to know more about where on earth did you get this from? Like, where did you come from where you know all this stuff, you're so amazing at what you do, you're helping so many women to build the relationship up with their children, such a needed thing. But tell me a little bit about where this passion comes from. How did you get started?

Lara Pitocchi 

Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Well, I can tell you that I am a cycle breaker and it has been a very painful journey for me. You know, I had my child before. There were people telling me what to say to my child and how to say it on the Internet. And so I kind of started my parenting journey by doing the opposite.

But it kind of even started before because I became a teacher. And they say, you know, people who suffer childhood trauma and have those wounds, you know, they're, tend to be the helpers, right? And it's like some kind of healing thing. Like I need to be able to help you to help me. Right. You know, yeah, yeah. So, so I, I was, I've worked in public education, and one of my, I was a social justice warrior before, you know, there was a name for it. So, and I just noticed, noticed like, here's the thing, I can help all the kids. I can help kids, kids, kids. I've, I've 12,000s. I was an instructional coach, wrote curriculum, coached teachers, all this stuff. But I can't change the parents. They go home at the end of the day. And in order for me to help children get equity and equal opportunity in this world. It's not fair that these kids get sent out into the world and they don't know emotional intelligence. They don't know how to communicate like that. And they're having all of those, you know, internal wounds that are unhealed. So anyway, towards the end of my teaching and education career, I said, you know, how, how else can I contribute? And you know, since this was such a near and dear, you know, and of course being an educator, I was buried in shame and guilt. It kept me stuck for 10 years probably, you know, I knew that I needed, I was something, something's not right. I get so upset and blah, blah. But it, you know, so I want to others avoid that, the regret.

Jenn Noble

Yeah, so here you are, your teacher. What grades did you teach?

Lara Pitocchi 

Oh gosh, I taught all grades from K through eight. started, yes, yes.

Jenn Noble

really? Okay, yeah. So like you see all those young kids coming in, having a hard time, they're being emotionally dysregulated, and you're finding this common denominator of where does it all kind of point back to, which is parents. And I'm sure you've probably even saw children who could emotionally regulate and could have conversations with their peers and adults, and they kind of started excelling. Like I see this. Yeah, and it's, People talk about like, know, generational wealth and what we would need to do to build generational wealth for our children. But I'm sitting here and I'm thinking to myself, if we just give them some emotional regulation? Like, what if we just treat them like humans? No way, Lara. I actually genuinely did not, even though I know we are like friends and colleagues. I did not. Yes. That's so funny.

Lara Pitocchi

That's what, you must be reading my emails, Jenn, because I just started to, I'm like this, I know. I've been calling it, this is the new intergenerational wealth, emotional intelligence.

Jenn Noble 

Yes. you know what it is. I saw it on Instagram recently. Someone said something about that. said like, they said, they said, give your child like generational wealth, give them a loving, supportive, emotionally like regulated system. And I think it's so important for us. So this stuff is important. And here it is. You're seeing it firsthand every day with these children coming in and seeing like there's There's so many other different types of, like you said, equity that we could be giving to our children. Like, how can we be helping them more? And this is one of those things we could be doing. And I love that.

Lara Pitocchi 

Yes, and that's the thing, the kids come to school and they, you know, it's, you know, the saying in education is Maslow before Blooms. Kids who are in survival mode are not going to learn algebra.

Jenn Noble 

Exactly. Yeah. And I, that's so interesting that you say that because I was, I was just talking with someone about our needs. And one of the things that I talked about is you need to know your needs in order to be able to communicate them to your partner. And one of the things about needs is yes, Maslow's hierarchy of needs for anyone that isn't familiar with that. And it's just basically this idea of this theory where we need to get our safety needs met first, our physical, and then our, so, my gosh. physiological, that word gets me every time. And then we can get to our belonging needs and then we can get to our self-actualization. So if we're down here, we don't have safety. We can't even start thinking about talking better to our husband or having a better conversation yet with our child because us ourselves are still stuck as that little girl who isn't getting her needs met by mom or dad or grandma or grandpa, whoever your caregiver was when you were a child.

Lara Pitocch

That's right. And that affected my relationships my whole life. I did not even know. You're right. I did not know what I needed. I knew I was angry about stuff. I was angry and then I would be angry. But I could never, I didn't learn how to express boundaries or any other thing in a loving kind way. So I was always so afraid I'm gonna say this and it's gonna be mean or harsh because that's the only way I know how to talk, you know?

Jenn Noble

Yes. Now listen, still like, I still like, I call it now like blunt and honest, which I'm still down for, but I hear you because I was the same way and I used to hate it. You know, people would be like, just be nicer to, you know, your kid. Like he's, you know, he's just having a temper tantrum. You know, it's not his fault. And I'm like, all of this did to me as a parent growing up was shame me even more because I couldn't hold my shit together because I had so much volatility built up in me from my own past traumatic bring, you know, upbringing that when my child was then acting out, it brought up all of these old triggers inside of me that just like made me want to lash out. And so, everyone's being like, Oh, just stay calm. He doesn't mean it. I was like, neither do I.

Lara Pitocchi 

Right. See, that must be a parent speaking who was taught emotional intelligence as a child. That's the difference. Right.

Jenn Noble

Right, exactly. They're like, yeah, they're just trying. I know they're just trying, but like that's the thing. My little girl is coming out too and she's having a temper tantrum. Whereas now with the work, you know, I think you and I do very, very similar work in terms of identifying our limited beliefs. think there's a lot of us, a lot of coaches out there right now, finally, thankfully, that are getting understanding of how is our nervous system actually work Therapy is great. All of that stuff is really great. I want people to still go do what they need to do. But what you get from a coach, like someone like Lara, someone like myself, is actionable and tangible steps to actually work towards changing what it is you're doing. Not just going back and talking about, you know, how pissed off you are that mom, you know, like left you in the grocery store when you were five and she shouldn't have, but you threw a temper tantrum and she left you. Like could talk about that all day, every day, if I wanted to with my therapist, what was it getting me anywhere? Exactly. So it's like, I think a lot of us, I know a lot of women, a lot of my listeners, they've done the work. It's almost like they know what to do. They've been to the therapist, they've done the couples counseling, they've gotten the parenting specialist, they read the books, they're trying everything and nothing is working. What would you say to those women out there?

Lara Pitocchi

Yeah. Well, the first thing I'd say is this is a massive undertaking, right? This is not a simple, just do X, Y, Z and you're done. Right. So because it is so massive, oftentimes that stops people from even taking their first step because they're like, Oh, screw it. I'm not, I can't do, I'm just not a calm person, you know? Um, and it makes them feel so that's where the guilt and shame comes because they then, you know, have that identity. Oh, I'm just, I'm, I'm loud. I'm loud. I'm a yeller and that's just the way I am. So, so there's that like getting started and not being overwhelmed and quitting. I think a lot of people, you know, fall into that category. And then also the structure It's in education speak, we call this a spiral curriculum. It's very intentional. One step leads to the other. And it's kind of like you can't, you know, go over here and do that, go over there and do that. But so I, in my opinion, those are the things that also one, one last thing, third thing.

I think that people need validation and support because this stuff, that's the other thing. You don't start working on this stuff and then a week later it's fixed. So often it's like this, it's like our experience of our entrepreneurship. It's like, I'm great. I'm doing so good. my God, we're so good. I suck. So I think those are three reasons why coaching during this process is super helpful. Yeah.

Jenn Noble

Yeah, because you need, I mean, when I heard you say, know, you need validation, I was thinking accountability, you need support because again, that's something we did not get in childhood. And so we don't have to do this alone anymore, you guys, like it is something that we can ask for help. But yeah, sure. Like back in the day, we would have maybe had our aunties or our besties or our cousins or even our mom to be able to talk to. But not all of us have that anymore.

And we can grieve that, that's okay. But the next step is go out and find your community. I don't care where it is, but go and make it again. I mean, was just like a hundred years ago, we were all farming our own foods half the time. And like, I don't know about you, but I don't, you know, grow, actually that's not true. I do have an apple tree, but I do mainly still get my apples from the grocery store.

I'm going somewhere now and I'm purchasing that stuff, right? I'm going out there now and I'm investing in my health. I'm getting grass-fed beef. I'm getting organic fruits and vegetables. I'm inquiring about the different farms in the area. I don't have my own farm, you know? And then sometimes, sure, would it be healthier if we all each had our own farm? Yeah, would it be healthier if we each all had healthy families that raised us in a good and loving way so we don't have to be dealing with this shit? Yeah, it would be, but we don't have it.

So we need to find our community where we can. And I think I just really want to like, just knock people over the heads with that. And Lara is someone who's in my community. She is a part of a community of other coaches that I know. And it's a bunch of us women and we all get together, you know, and we get excited and we celebrate with each other and we bitch and we complain and it's so needed. Without you, without you ladies, my gosh, I would just feel like I'm floundering. Yeah.

Lara Pitocchi 

Absolutely, absolutely. And that's community part. mean, you know, because with coaching or with cycle breaking, I could recommend something to you that doesn't work for you in your particular situation. So that's another thing that a coach is great at. Okay, let's take this. It's not working. Let's figure it out. Let's figure out something that will work and feels aligned.

Jenn Noble

Yeah, like a good proper coach. Just like if you had a basketball coach, you had a football coach out there, you had someone you're like, okay, let's get out there and let's run this drill. And you run that play, but you notice, okay, this wide receiver doesn't catch the ball very well on his right side. Like, okay, well, let's adapt and shift it to his left side. Don't mind my football analogies, I quite like football. like, football, no, football..

Lara Pitocch

Yes, yes, yes. No, I'm just smiling and nodding, notice, because football is like one block I have. I don't know why.

Jenn Noble 

First off, Go Bucks National Championships. Anyways, OH for anyone out there who wants to just give me a review on Apple Podcasts with an IO would make my day. Anyways, my point here is yes. And I think it's so incredibly important. Now, of course, like all things, you need to vet people. You need to get to know them. So something I want my listeners to know is how can they get to know you, Lara? Like, how can they, where can they find you?

Lara Pitocchi 

Yeah. Yes. So my kind of home is on Facebook. I have a group called the Cyclebreaker Parenting Hub. And inside that group, I'm in there every day. People can post. I can support in the comments. do, usually every week, I do some kind of learning session. So, and oftentimes I try to jazz it up a little bit and have fun.

because this is a, you know, it can be tough work, right? So I do challenges and stuff like that. So you can get a flavor for, you know, how I, you know, how I do things by just being in the group.

Jenn Noble 

Yeah, your group is fantastic. I think your energy in there is so wonderful. love you. You're often in there. I see your face. You're real, right? This is one of those Facebook groups that you just go into and you're just kind of left alone. Like you're in there all the time. Anyone can ask you a question whenever they need to. And you're so hands on with everyone. I just, think it's such an important aspect to have and that in your coaching, like the way that you do it, it's just, it's fantastic. So I highly recommend you said it was called the Cycle Breaker Parenting Hub, right?

Lara Pitocchi 

That's correct.

Jenn Noble

Okay, perfect. I'm gonna put a link to that Facebook group in the show notes as well. And is there anything else that you want to let us know?

Lara Pitocchi

Awesome. Well, let's see. Oh, actually on February 1st, I'm going to be doing my master class. There's a kind of a learning session. didn't even remember to mention this to you, Jenn. February 1st at noon Eastern time, I'm going to do a kind of web class. And this is a great way to get to know me actually, because I go into pretty much in a little detail, like how cycle breaking

affected me and impacted me from the beginning to now. And then I show, like, you know, because it's, I want to show this, it's possible, right? You can do this. Look, I did this, but I want to make it shorter for you than 10 years. Okay. Well, it just took me, but yeah.

Jenn Noble 

And for anyone wanting to attend one of your master classes, if they're listening to this or if this podcast doesn't go out until after February 1st, I'm sure you're going to do way more. And so one of the best ways to get to know when your master classes are going to be, I'm assuming go in the Facebook group, right? Get in the group. OK. And how about this e-book that you wrote recently you were telling me about?

Lara Pitocchi 

yes, words that work. you know, yes, yes. 

Jenn Noble

Words that work. That's beautiful. I love that.

Because one of the most frequent questions I get is, you know, what do I say? How do I say this? How do I, you know, I'm sure you know, people struggle with how to position things in a favorable, kind, loving way. So although we've talked about how that's not the fix.

Right? Those books and Instagram people who tell you all these, that's not the fix because you're not going in and healing you. But it is a way to start experimenting with connection-based parenting because a lot of people feel that it means letting your kid do whatever or not having rules or having punishments, what do you do if you don't punish? So these are, it's like an encyclopedia, it's geared towards parents with children. Right at the cusp, I always say 10, 11, 12, that's the cusp where you have to shift your parenting and change it. It's like a 180, right? Yes, yes, yep, yep. And that's where we go wrong because we still wanna hands on.

Lara Pitocchi 

Hands on, but really what we need to do is…

Jenn Noble

start backing up. Thank you. think I needed that permission as well, because sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough then if I'm not on it all the time. But no, I've learned that from you of just like stepping back. So this this ebook sounds absolutely amazing. I want to make sure that my listeners get this. I want to get this in the hands of as many people as possible. So I'll grab the link from you and I'll also put in the show notes. And I know we can offer our listeners a discount. So this is going to be great. you guys like Lara is hooking you up.

So grab it while you can because like this woman is on fire and she is changing the parenting world. And I'm so proud to know her and consider her a friend and a colleague. And thank you so much for coming on the podcast today, Lara. I truly appreciate you.

Lara Pitocchi

Thank you, Jenn. I really had a great time talking to you. Thank you, you too.

Jenn Noble 

Okay, I will speak to you later. Take care.

MUSIC

Jenn Noble 

Wow, I am just so excited that Lara got to come on this podcast. Doesn't she just know her shit, everyone? Wow, like just listening to her and thinking about my own parenting struggles with my own 13 year old, I'm like, okay, what do I need to do next? How do I need to do this? can I start diving into? And the cool thing about what Lara does is it's very similar to the modalities that I've been learning about and that I teach in my own program. And so I thought, what a perfect opportunity.

Maybe you're out there and you're like, Jenn, I love all of the stuff that you talk about, but like, I actually don't really need it. I'm either just out of a relationship and I don't feel like dating right now or actually have a pretty decent relationship, but my relationship with my children, that's struggling. And that's why I wanted to have her on so you could see that there's multiple ways to heal. And there's plenty of people out there to go and heal with. It's not just me, it's not just her. There's so many other coaches. And if you're out there right now and you're thinking, Jenn, I really need help. I need someone to help me, but.

You know, honestly, I don't really want your style and I don't want Lara's style. Great. Reach out to me and I will help you find a coach. Because as you hear us talking our conversation, it's so important to have that support, to have that accountability, to have that community of people that are going to help you get to the place that you want to go. So if listening to Lara inspired a lot inside of you and you want to get to know her more, remember you can join her Facebook group.

The link will be in the show notes. And hey, while you're over there, if you haven't joined our Facebook group yet either, join our Speak Honest, secure communication for women. And also Lara is offering her ebook for a discount. I'm so excited to get that in as many hands as possible because I know she worked really hard on this and it's fantastic. I hope you all enjoyed this conversation so much. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me or to Lara and I will speak to you all next week. Take care.