48. How Amanda Found Her Voice in a Loving Relationship | Real Stories from the Relationship Reboot Program

What do you do when you’ve got a great husband and a solid support system, but something still feels off? Amanda had all the love and support she could ask for, but she struggled to express herself in a way that felt true to who she really is. She joined my Relationship Reboot Program looking for clarity, and wow… did she find it!

In this episode, Amanda opens up about her journey to becoming more confident and authentic in her communication. From learning how to honor her needs to creating even deeper connections with her husband and the amazing women in the program, Amanda’s story shows what’s possible when you commit to showing up for yourself.

You might want to listen if:

• You feel supported but still misunderstood.
• You’ve ever struggled to explain what you really need in a relationship.
• You’re tired of holding back just to keep the peace.
• You love the idea of growing without “fixing” what’s already good.
• You want tools to help you feel seen, heard, and fully understood.

FIND OUT MORE!

• Join our Community! Speak Honest Facebook Group 🧡
• Schedule your Attachment Assessment with Jenn Today!
• Watch Jenn on the 🔴 TEDx Stage!
• Interested in being coached on our show? Schedule with Jenn today!
• Discover the Attachment Dance Style of your Relationship: Download Your Free Workbook!
• Visit www.speak-honest.com to learn more
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• Like the episode? Please write a review, your words help others find us!

DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for accuracy but are not liable for errors or outcomes from this information.

Transcript

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Speak Honest. I'm Jenn Noble, your go-to relationship coach. And on today's episode, I'm so excited to have another special guest from the relationship reboot program, Amanda. Amanda is another lady in my program. And I just really wanted to get a couple of these in for all of you before the program starts on January 13th. And I know that really we're cutting it close by now by the time this podcast is coming out. So if that is something that you are interested in, if you heard Carol’s podcast from the week previously, and you are like, you know, kind of making something feel like maybe you wanted to think about it. And now you're going to listen to Amanda's podcast and she's just going to blow you out with all of her amazing growth that she's had. And if this sounds like something that you want to be a part of. I highly suggest that you schedule an attachment assessment with me. You can go to speak-honest.com /assessment to schedule that with me. I opened up my schedule for the whole month of January.

But that way we can really have an opportunity to talk with one another. Because before I let anyone into the program, I have to meet them face to face. We have to know if this is a good fit. We need to know if I'm the right coach for you and if you are the right woman to come into the program. Because it's a very curated program. I only allow 10 women in the program at a time. Because I put my blood, sweat, and tears into each one of these women when they come into this program.

And the reason I do it this way is because I'm trying to build a community of women supporting each other. And you'll hear that in the conversation with Amanda. In fact, she talks about how the one thing that she took from the program the most was the community. Honestly, I was a little bit surprised to hear that. I believe that Carol said the same thing in the previous podcast. 

And I was like, Okay, here you know, I'm thinking it's gonna be all about like, Jenn, your Google docs for your personality needs were amazing. Wow, they were outstanding. No, no, it's community. And that's what I keep hearing. It's why I started this program. It's why I have the Facebook group. It's why I just keep encouraging women to talk to one another, engage with one another and build that community. Because I think 2025 is the year of the woman. It is a year of the woman community stepping in and supporting one another. And I want you to be a part of that. So schedule in an attachment assessment with me, speak-honest.com/assessment. And I can't wait for you to listen to this episode.

Jenn Noble 

Hi, Amanda. Thank you so much for agreeing to come back on the podcast and talk about your experience in the relationship reboot program. How are you doing today?

Amanda 

I am doing fantastic. Thank you so much for inviting me back. And I can't wait to dive in. It's been quite the journey since we last chatted here on the podcast.

Jenn Noble 

I know I was just thinking about that. I wanted to go back and listen to all the things we were talking about and all of the things that we had had a chance to really get into. so if anyone is listening now, who am I talking to right now, and I did a little intro before this, but this is Amanda and she's been in my program for the last 12 weeks. And we actually did a podcast about 12 weeks ago where we talked about where we are starting? What do we want to work on and all of this stuff. And what's so exciting is here we are 12 weeks later, which you cannot believe like.

I just never think it's going to happen and yet time keeps going. And we are finishing up. We have some of our last coaching sessions this week and then that's it. That's the program.

Amanda 

It's crazy how fast time flies, but at the same time, it's been like I said, it's been a wild ride. It's been quite the eye opening experience in all the best ways possible. So it's been an amazing last three months. That's for sure.

Jenn Noble 

Tell me a little bit about where you were emotionally when you first started the program.

Amanda 

Yeah, so I had, I was doing some work on myself before the program. A couple of years ago, I was in a really, really deep spiral, the downward spiral that we all know and love. And so I was working my way out of that and, you know, we're human. So there would be those moments where I would slip back into the spiral and I was flying off the handle a lot. A lot of things were triggering me. So I was listening to your podcast and all of these things were resonating with me. And I was like, yes, I need to dive deeper into this because those are the missing links. Those are the missing rungs to my ladder that I need to get out of this downward spiral and have the tools to help myself in these situations and be able to communicate what it is that I need. So those were the things that I was really struggling with before. And in going through this 12 week reboot, I am more confident and I have those tools and I am growing each and every day. There's new opportunities to explore and get curious and just be more mindful and in tune with my body and in ways that I never thought possible.

Jenn Noble 

Yeah, you've come so far in this program, which I'll be really honest, was a bit shocking to me because you were one of the ones to me that kind of came in the program, you know, on like the 80 yard line. Like I talk about this analogy sometimes, which is like everyone starts in different spaces. And some of us are starting, you know, back in the end zone. You had a pretty good handle on your life. You have a pretty good, you have a great relationship, honestly. For any, like your relationship at the start of the program would have been other women's goal, right? To an extent.

 But it reminds me a lot of even when we're trying to lose weight or we're trying to get healthy, everyone is starting in their own space and you still want to get better and you want to get better. So I was so excited when you came onto the program. But my favorite thing was watching you just, just flourish. You were just blossoming. And you're right, you had these kind of big deep spirals. And as I got to know you more and as we got to talk deeper, I could see where they were coming from. But you're one of those types of people that you can kind of just hold your shit together. Right? 

So I've only ever talked to you in certain aspects and I was like, well, Amanda's got her shit together. What does she need me for? And then like all women, right? Like the facade starts to break down. The downward spirals start to show up a little bit more. The thought processes and the people pleasing and all of this stuff. I was like, okay, here we go. What can we do here? And so I just loved watching where you started and then how much more you still got out of the program.

Even though I wasn't necessarily, I was like, this program, is she gonna be bored out of her mind in this program? I don't know if she's gonna like this, but no, you were consistent, you showed up every week, you were always at the group coaching calls, you were a support system for the other women, which was also amazing, which I wanna talk to you about. Tell me a bit about the community of women that were all there together.

Amanda 

The community that we have is so special. I have no doubts that we are going to continue our conversations outside of this reboot. We have each other, like we're friends on Facebook. Like we are in each other's messenger all the time. We're always checking in, like how's it going? We have our own playlist all of a sudden.

Jenn Noble 

That playlist is great.

Amanda

So we are invested in each other's lives and we have grown. We've cried together. We laughed together. We've shared our wins together. We've shared our thorns every week. You know, what's really just weighing us down. And we've been so supportive both in the group and outside of the group. And it is such a blessing to know that you are not alone in whatever it is that you're going through. Even if your situation is just truly unique, no one else in the group has experienced it, which happens all the time, but it's like, my gosh, I could never imagine that. Everyone is just so supportive and just we listen to each other's needs and we are there for each other. Like, hey, do you need validation? Do you need moments of gratitude right now? What is it that you need? We will be there for you in that way. So the community of women has just been truly a blessing and I'll cherish our friendships forever.

Jenn Noble

I was scared, right? So this is my first time running the program as a community, as a group. I take women through 12 weeks. I get them to a healthier, more secure place in their relationships. And I've done that one-on-one for a couple of years now. But this group program was something that started kind of coming to my heart when I was thinking like, would community bring? And how would I do this? So I started taking some courses to learn how to like, because I got to tell you running a group is hard. Like different personalities, people come in and out. Like, how do you tell someone to like maybe say that or don't say that, you know? And it's like, OK, how do we do this? And then it just started growing and forming. And you all started being there for one another. And I started hearing about, yeah, the side conversations on how this person was asking this person about, you know, things for their father-in-law and all these things are happening on the outside. And it was like, my gosh, this is what I wanted.

Cause in the end, right, my job, and I've always told you guys this, my job is to baby bird all of you. My job is to like, you know, feed you straight from my mouth for 12 straight weeks. Right. I am there. I am in the groups every single time we have over, what is it like three hours of group coaching. And then I have the Friday check-ins to make sure everyone has  one-on-one time with me. And I'm there every step of the way. I'm looking at your homework on the side. And then I just need you guys to go fly. Right? And so it's like, I want to really make sure that I can love you guys. I can hold on to all of you. And then I just kind of push you out of the nest. 

The best part is you all have each other now. And that is something I truly didn't actually expect. And again, every group cohort might be different. Who knows what's going to happen for the next one. But at the same time, I think this is, I think this is what women have been looking for for a long time. A safe space for other women who are in similar spaces, but like you said, unique. Every single one of you had a unique story. None of you were the same. had, some had been married for years, some weren't married at all. Some, unfortunately, you know, in the middle of the program separated. So like, this is gonna happen. But you all had each other's backs and you all lifted each other up. And I can't wait to see how that continues on. And so I love that so much. 

But I wanted to talk to you as well, specifically you. I wanted to talk to you about the homework because the homework is something you excelled at. it was watching you because I did all this work to have the Google Docs set up so people could do the work. And I was like, no one's going to do all this work. No one ever does all this work. I do all of this. No client in the history of any of my clients has ever done all the work. And then in comes a band and it was just like a plus gold star. And she like, you just you put you're just, put your effort into it. But I want to hear from you. What did you think of the homework? What was that like for you?

Amanda 

So a few things. So first off, at the bottom of every homework assignment, you gave us a link to a piece of music on YouTube. I was genuinely every week, like right there, I was like, OK, I haven't even watched this week's video yet, but I got to figure out what is this week's music. And so I was really excited about that. So my eyes have been opened to a whole new world of ambient music that I didn't know existed. And now I listen to it all the time. 

Jenn Noble

It's addictive. It really is. No, I know. 

Amanda 

It is, it totally is. So that's amazing. But the actual content of the homework... yes. So, you know, when I saw the 12 categories, right? The 12, what we were talking about for the 12 weeks. And I was like, okay, great boundaries. We got limited beliefs. We have, you know, our needs and all this. was like, okay, this sounds amazing. But when we got to the homework and it really dives deep and ask those questions that you wouldn't necessarily ask yourself, like when you say like, what do you need? Right? Okay, yeah, you know, what kind of question is that?

Jenn Noble 

Yeah, I don't know. Usually what I get is not to feel this way. It's like, yeah, it's like, well, what does that mean? Yeah.

Amanda 

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. But then to have the building blocks and each week works on top of the next. And so you have that frame of reference and it asks you the questions. So you're really thinking about what do I need in this specific area of my life? What do I need in this other specific area of my life? And when you break it down like that, your brain is forced to make those connections in ways that you wouldn't have gotten to on your own. And so to really sit with that and just type, know, I was a typer, I typed everything out, but to type up like the first thing that comes to your mind without judgment and then sit back and really analyze that. And we always ask the question, okay, well, why? Why was that my first gut instinct to respond that way? What does that mean? How can I fine tune this? Is this a feeling or a perception? And all of these different things. And it's like, okay, let me reframe. And there was a couple of homework assignments where, like you said, I took it a step further. 

Jenn Noble 

You did, they were great. You got me thinking about how I could make it better.

Amanda 

My limited beliefs one, that was one that we knew going in was going to be my big week. And it was, and I took the homework assignment and turned it into this ginormous Excel spreadsheet and really broke down one specific scenario, one event. And that was not part of the homework assignment, but I did it it was because of the homework assignments from the weeks past that I was able to combine everything together in a way that made sense for me. And so I love that you gave us space to do that, to be creative and make it our own and ask questions and ask for clarification. And we could add our colors. I'm a big color coded person, so I was highlighting things and really putting my own spin on it, but also adding where I felt that it would also benefit me. 

So there was a, I can't remember what week it was, but I added like my somatic experiences to what it was that I was feeling about an event. And so really sitting with that, like I said, in analyzing the question and applying all of the other weeks together with it. I think that's really what I got out of the homework assignment. It's not just a simple answer this question and you get an A. It's really like doing the work is applying and whatever that looks like for you. So even if you don't quote unquote fill out the worksheet, if you are applying it in real life and in seeing life differently in terms of like, what, okay, this incident happened. What does that mean? And really getting curious in the moment you are doing the work.

Jenn Noble 

Yeah. And really getting able to see that, and this was my most fun part about watching each of you do it in your own way is, you did it this way. You're very spreadsheet oriented, organized, right? And I mean, so am I. So was like, this is amazing. I need to like fix some of my stuff to make it look like this. And then we did have some people, right? And they were like, I just, couldn't get to it this week. And I really wanted to make sure that they understood that that was fine too, because it's about meeting yourself where you are.

As we already stated, you came in with a bit more of an understanding of yourself. You came in with a bit more of a healthier mindset and a bit of a healthier relationship. So you were able to kind of take it that one next step further and you did that for yourself. And the cool part was even in the group coaching, even in the homework help on Thursdays, we were able to meet each person like where they were each time, which I thought was really cool because I was afraid for that going into the program thinking how, because I love one-on-one.

I like digging into a person's patterns, their vocal fry, like there are all of this stuff going on, like, I just saw your eye shift. What does this mean about you? And I was like, how am gonna do that in a group coaching? Like, how will I help someone with their homework? How will I help someone know how to feel a somatic feeling, right? That was one of my hardest things to try to figure out was like, okay, how do I get them into this? But no, you each just showed up exactly how you were.

We all had feelings every once in while, like, I didn't get it done, I'm a failure. And I was like, good, feel that feeling, because you're not. Let's break free from that perfectionism that holds all of us women back all of the time and just see that anything you do is worth it. And of course, you all keep access to all the stuff later on. Like all the cohorts and all future cohorts, get the videos, they get the worksheets, they get access to the Facebook group. And so I love it when people go through it once with me and then they go back through it again. Because I think that's where repetition plus emotion, right? That's where we get the real kind of essence in of what this work is about is you go back through and now you're gonna go back through it you're gonna look at it differently. And you'll be like, there it is. Now I see where it is. Like, I understand now what a perception is right off the bat. Great, I don't have to do that as much anymore. And yeah, so I just, really loved it with you, with all of the different homework assignments and wondering from your perspective, and you could be really honest, did you ever feel like it was too much? Did you ever feel like, my God, what did I get myself into?

Amanda 

No, no, don't think I did. the... There was one time it was because I added too much onto it, to be honest. Yeah, I was like, okay, I need to pull back. Can we just do the assignment bit, please? All right. right. But yeah, was like, okay, all right, we don't need to go through all of these additional steps that I've added to this for every single part of this. The goal this week is to focus on this specific part. That is the main focus. We can dive into it later, but we're focusing on this one instance right now.

Jenn Noble (17:42.868)

It was like a personal thing you were doing. Yeah.

Amanda

But yeah, was like, okay, all right, we don't need to go through all of these additional steps that I've added to this for every single part of this. The goal this week is to focus on this specific part. That is the main focus. We can dive into it later, but we're focusing on this one instance right now.

Jenn Noble

You bring up a good thing that I want to bring up too, which is how sometimes when we have so much we're trying to do, we can hold ourselves back, right? Because if you're like, you're saying like, I want to fill out all of this stuff. And then as a result, what happens? We shut down, right? We don't do anything. I think we've been dealing with this with you a little bit too, because you've been one of your big things is you want to work on organizing your house, right? You want to work on like all of this stuff. And what ends up happening when you think about everything that has to go down.

Yeah. So talk me through that. Cause I feel like this might be one of the biggest things, one of your biggest breakthroughs that I really saw come out of you, which was knowing how to set boundaries with other people around your house. So tell me a little bit about that.

Amanda

So true. So true. So my house and its current state is a work in progress. it's always been on my heart to organize this space. I'm not talking about like magazine quality. I'm just talking about knowing where everything is. And if you say like, hey, where is X? I will know. Go, yeah.

It's over here. That is not the case right now. And my husband and I, my husband is incredibly supportive, but we have two very different views on how the house is. I see it as borderline hordish and he sees it as a lived in. So we really worked on expressing our needs and communicating like this is like a 10 out of 10 for me and we have people over sometimes and it is incredibly embarrassing for me. I do this whirlwind cleanup where I just grab a box and just everything from the counter goes into this box and it is put upstairs and then I never know where anything's at. And I just have a bunch of boxes everywhere. And so we, with your help and with this program, set the boundary of we're gonna do a house wide project. And with that, over the next six months, we're gonna go surface by surface, room by room, and we are closing our doors. We are not inviting anyone over. 

Jenn Noble

That part right there to me is huge. Both that you could communicate to this to him, right? That you said it was a 10 out of 10. You learned it was a 10 out of 10 throughout when we did your needs and we figured that out. And we're like, wait a second, this somatic feeling coming up in you, it's a big deal. We gotta listen to this. We gotta listen to you. So you did that, you said it to him, and now you're having to tell other people. So yeah, tell me about like when a friend wanted to come over or something. That was huge when I read that.

Amanda 

Yes, yes. So I immediately sent the message over to you because it was such a big win. yeah, so we my husband, I just had the conversation about it and I was saying how I was feeling so trapped in my own house. And this is this needs to happen and it needs to start like now. And we're to give ourselves the six months. And he was like, yeah, absolutely. Let's do this. And within a couple of days, my friend out of the blue messages me, and says, hey, like I miss you. I would love to see you. Can we come over for a weekend in January? And I was like, no, no, because we are doing a house-wide project. Like, yes, I would love to see you, right? So I validated, right? Because we've learned we validate first.

And so I said, you know, I would love to see you. It's been so long. have a lot of catching up to do. Lots has happened since we last met. And I would love to see you. However, we are currently doing a house wide project right now. And so we have agreed to say, hey, we're we're closing up shop. So no one's allowed to come over, even family, the next six months. So we could go out for lunch or coffee, you know, meet halfway and go to you, you know, so that way you're not here in the house.

Jenn Noble

It's just stunning. mean, because there's two things about that. When I remember hearing about it was you could have easily just been like, well, it's in the early part of January. You know what I mean? Like six months. Like it just got started. We can squeeze one more person in, you know? And already, what is that? You're crossing your own boundary, isn't it? Right? Because we learned in the program about there's not just a type of bound. You don't just set boundaries with other people. You set boundaries with yourself. You have your mental boundaries, you have your own time boundaries, your own physical boundaries. And so that was important to you to stick to your own boundary that you set for yourself. And so you did and you said that to them. And yes, you were regulated. You didn't think you were going to be a bad friend. You took all the meaning out of what it could have been. Or even if it was still there, you tidied it up as you went along. And then you said, my God, I would love to see you but unfortunately, and then you had a reason, but you didn't explain yourself. I loved that part too. 

You didn't over explain yourself. weren't like, I'd love to, but like my house is a disaster and I guess we're not having anyone over right now and this is really important. No, we don't have to explain ourselves to anyone, do we? You just said, we're having a house wide project. Still one of my favorite things. I that you named it. You didn't even know you named it, right? I was like, my God, did you see what you did?

I'm adding that to my list of communication things now, because you got to name it. Cause then it just made it sound so official. Like what else is she going to say? She doesn't know what's going on. You could be renovating. So you could have mold for all she knows, right? Like it doesn't matter. And then you get to do all that. And then you're like, and then you brought up an alternative. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Look at that communication. You just did. Like, could you have done that before the program? Like truly, you know, and don't just like, don't just like blow smoke up my ass at all. You know that. Truly though, what do you think would have happened in the past?

Amanda 

Truly, I can answer this because it has happened. So truly, it would have been, yeah, sure, what we could. And then it would have been, crap. Okay, she said the weekend, which means she's staying the night. So that means I have to clean the guest room. Okay, that means I need to clean the guest bathroom, which we, you know, and then I would gone into the whirlwind spiral mode and shove everything into our bedroom. 

Jenn Noble 

And then it just keeps going and stuff goes into boxes and you don't know where it is and it just keeps happening. Yeah. I'm just so ridiculously proud of you. There was that one with the setting of the boundaries for the house wide project. There was also the work that we did with like different family members and learning just how to like sit and be still and like learning that you don't have to be the one to pass around the plates, you know, and don't have, and like, and even though you did that in the moment.

And then we utilize that, right? We use the situation. We're in the group coaching. You're telling us the story. And in that moment, you didn't just help yourself. I remember in that moment, there were so many other people that were like, I do that. Wait, like I also feel uncomfortable when I see a need and no one else is taking care of it. So I feel like I have to be the one, but then resentment starts building, right? And so it's like sitting in that discomfort of like, don't touch the plates next time, Amanda. Right? Or you decided to, right? I think you were, was at some other dinner and you had just, you were like, I want to clean up the plates. And you were like, wait.You checked in? Tell me about that.

Amanda 

Right. Like, yeah, it's so crazy how it's a bit, it's a giant mindset shift. Like the first instance that you mentioned, it was very much a place of resentment and it was of a negative space of just fed up. Like, if no one's gonna do it, apparently it's gotta be me. All right, here we go. And the second time around it, yeah, it was already, we were a month in to the program, about a month and a half. So about how, I guess, yeah. And, and it was, yeah, I checked in and like, okay, I see a need for the plates to be cleared. I can just clear my plate or I can clear other people's plates. Like, what is it? What is the bigger need that I have here? Like, my need right now is contribution.

So how can I do that? I can volunteer to collect everyone's plates. And then that filled up the trash, I can volunteer to take out said trash. But it wasn't a place of like, I see these plates are everywhere. It was a check in with myself first and being okay with, okay, I can fulfill this need on my own by clearing the plates and it meets my contribution need, I don't need to ask anyone else for this. I can fulfill that bucket and be good with this and then sit in pride of like, I did something. 

Jenn Noble

Yeah, because we learned throughout, right? In the course, I mean, we go through needs for like three weeks because to me, they're just like huge. And we talk about this a lot, but you need to know what you need. And in fact, you know, the Gottmans, they did that research about how relationship satisfaction is seven times more likely to be highly satisfying if both partners can understand their needs. But in order to get there, you need to know yours. And then without realizing it, this kind of concept of for relational, you know, symbiosis to an extent turns into just for you. So now you know what you need. So now you're sitting there and all the plates need to be cleaned. And there would have been a space where you're like, fine, I'll do it. And then you probably would have been a bit like pissy to like your family later on or something, or they want to chat with you and you're just like, and now you do it and you get to like fill up your needs buckets, you know, and that makes sense to anyone that understands what a needs bucket is, but you know, come join the program, you know what it is. And then you did, you filled up your contribution, which means when you did that, You also didn't have any holes in your buckets. So you got to truly feel it and then you were satisfied. Like it's wild to me. And then do you think that that helped your relationships and your connections with the people at the house in the moment then as well? Like were you able to be more open or communicative or just happy?

Amanda 

Yeah. The whole day, we had talked a lot about how to navigate that day. There was a lot of potential things that could have happened. so to just know that I was going in with all of these tools and that I was confident in using those tools because we had practiced them on other scenarios and found evidence that I can do this. And I can be successful in this. so when a challenging situation arises, like this one, I can just take that second and go, OK, all right, I got this. And and it's it's night and day from where where I was before of just. I've just at peace with myself and it's it's just such an amazing feeling and a weight lifted knowing that like just how much I've grown, you know? And it's truly been a blessing. It really has.

Jenn Noble 

God, that just warms my heart so freaking much. don't even know. But like, and what I really hope too for all of you in the program is it's not even that you grew in the program, but my biggest goal, right, is that you now have tools. Like you're gonna keep growing, right? You're not perfect. There's gonna come a time when you and your husband fight again. Or he is, I'm gonna tell you, this is absolutely gonna happen within the six months of your house-wide project. He's gonna slowly stop caring and it's gonna be on you again to remind him.

And so all of those old feelings are going to come back up because that's how our neurons work. And you're to want to be like, you know, I think you're like, wait a second. Let me check in with my limited beliefs. Let me see how I'm feeling. Let me see what I'm perceiving. Let me see what I need right now. Let me see what boundaries I could be setting. Let me see how to communicate that. Let me see. What is my why? Why do I want this? Where's this coming from? All of that stuff right there. You now have that for the rest of your life to be able to figure out. And that's just always been my goal because life is about triggers, right? It's about getting out there and getting outside of our comfort zones and doing the things that we don't wanna always have to be doing, but you know, it helps grow us in all of these kinds of ways. And so by being able to have all of that, that's what I'm hopeful for you. And I can't wait to see you just continuously keep growing.

Amanda 

Thank you. I've even noticed that I'm not as crazy with my road rage. 

Jenn Noble 

Really?!

Amanda 

And I think, yes, which is really big being in Southern California.

Jenn Noble

And yes, I think you have to have road rage if you're in Southern California.

Amanda 

Yes, I think so. it's it's one of those of like, OK, well, why am I so irritated right now? I think we even use this as one of the examples in the homework of like because I feel trapped, I'm sitting in my car like it's a waste of my time. Like, let's go. But I'm not like angry at the person, you know, for before I was like, it's on the right. Let's go. Like, come on.

Jenn Noble 

And that concept of not being as angry anymore when you're in your car, all of that, if we just got into like a little bit of a science-y section for just a hot minute, is calming your central nervous system down, which also means just all of these other parts of you, it's not just like your actions, right? It's not just the words that are coming out of your mouth, but it also means you're gonna have less chronic stress in your body. means your cortisol levels are gonna go down.

It means you're not gonna be craving as much sugar or alcohol or whatever it is that you usually, like we all would usually need to get through it. And it happens from this inside out mentality, which is kind of cool when you really stop and think about it. Just that right there. Just be able to calm your nerves. That way you come out of sympathetic nervous system, right? Your sympathetic nervous system is your fight or flight. It's what happens when you're driving and some jackass cuts you off and you're just like, You know, didn't want to like punch him in the face like I get it and now you're like I love how you ask yourself Why because you know, that's what I ask you guys all the time. Like why you're like, I want a clean house I remember this in the beginning. I think I pushed you a couple times. You're like, I want a clean house and I'm like, but why? Doesn't matter who cares. Okay, and you're like, wait a second So, yes, I love all of that.

Amanda

Yeah. Like, wait, like do I care? Yeah.

Jenn Noble

Yeah, you're like wait a sec. I don't know why I care. I gotta figure you know, why am I angry? yeah, I'm trapped. I have a high need for time efficiency. I do have a high need. This person doesn't have a high need of that apparently, or they do. And that's why they cut me off too. And then you start looking at how other people live. They're allowed to act whatever weird, ass-holey way that they want to act. Right? We get to just look at them like toddlers now. And...

Amanda 

It's the best rule ever.

Jenn Noble 

Yeah, that didn't even come out of the program. That was in one of the weekly support sessions, which is so great. So you can keep coming to all the stuff that we have at Speak Honest because we do the weekly support sessions. We have the podcast. The program is just one aspect, but that was something you did. So as we're wrapping up here tonight, so again, thank you so much for coming in. I just want to know, there any one part of the program that really stood out to you that you want to really share with anyone listening?

Amanda 

Just one? How do you choose just one?

Jenn Noble 

It's like choosing your favorite ride at Disney.

Amanda

It's impossible. can't, no, I think being with such a supportive community because in, in like, like I mentioned in doing the homework, you, dive into the questions about you, in your specific scenarios. But when you're with the group, the

The questions that get asked, the different scenarios that you go, when you dive into their specific things and you see yourself in that specific scenario, it might trigger something that resonates with you that you can apply to your own situation. so I learned so much from the group in our group chats. And, you know, even when we were working with a few of the ladies on their somatic experiences. We were diving into that. Because I know being able to get yourself into that space can be really challenging. And so we worked on that in some of the group sessions. And I remember like I sat back in my chair and you weren't even talking to me. You know, you were working with one of the other ladies and it was still like, okay, I can do this too. I can do this somatic experience too. And like, where am I feeling? What am I feeling? Let's work on that together. It might not be like where I'm feeling the exact same feelings of where or how or whatever, but I can still work on myself while they're working on themselves. So just the community aspect of it and having, like you said, three hours a week where we are together and sharing our experiences and being open and vulnerable and safe. And, you know, we can laugh, we can cry, and there's no judgment. And that is such a beautiful thing. It's just the judgment we put on ourselves, and that's what we're working on, you know?

Jenn Noble

Yeah, as soon as one of you would have a judgment about yourself, it was wild how the rest of the women would just come in and be like, no, you're amazing. What are you talking about? I think there was one time too, one of the women was having a tough, tough time. And she just came in and she was like, I can't do the work. I can't do the somatic. I can't find any evidence. I am just done. And so was like, can we give you evidence? And we went around.

And we told her all the things we loved about her. And she told me that that was one of the most impactful moments for her. And it was just like, and that was just out of the blue, right? We were just like, okay, what are we going to do? So I love hearing that because just because I'm not working with you one-on-one. And I was worried about that. I genuinely was. If I can't work with someone one-on-one, how am I supposed to help them? But no, knowing that I could talk to this person through their somatic experience, through their big emotion happening and hearing you kind of be able to kind of make it work for yourself. It's just, I love it so much. Well, yeah.

Amanda

Yeah, and we played off of each other. know, like there was something, especially in the needs. When we were talking about needs and one of the ladies would bring up a specific thing, I was like, ooh, I didn't have that. That's a good one. 

Jenn Noble

I want that one! Wait a second!

Amanda

Ooh. Yeah, I was like, okay, let me add to it. And so we were, we all did that. You know, there was like, I didn't even think about that. And one of the ladies, when I was talking about my whole house-wide project, she chimed in and she was like, yes, I feel seen you know, it was like, yes, I love that. I love that community aspect of like, we all get something out of it, even if it's not like we're not working one on one with you. So it's beautiful. Yeah.

Jenn Noble 

Yeah, I don't need to be there all the time. It's like my favorite thing in the world. Like that's what I've always said. I'm just a vessel. I'm just a coach. I am a nobody. You know what I mean? And I say that with love and humbleness in my heart, but what I mean is like, I'm not here to tell you guys necessarily what to do. I haven't come up with some weird, amazing, innovative ideas. I just integrated all these other ideas that I found from all these places and I teach them to you. And then I let you guys all fly. I let them all do it how you want. And that's my favorite thing. Sometimes I just sat back in those group sessions and y'all just chatted and I was like, y'all making my job easy. This is great. Thank you so much. But yeah, but being mindful of the time now, I just want to know, is there one last thing that you want to say or mention or tell anyone out there listening about the program? And then we'll head off after that.

Amanda

This program has been an absolute game changer in my life, hands down, 100%. I knew that when I saw from the podcast and your weekly Facebook sessions how much that helped me already and to dive deeper into these topics, I knew that it was me that needed to change in my life. I already had a very supportive relationship in my husband and my family and I knew that it was for me going through these 12 weeks, I know more about myself than I ever thought I would know. And I have those tools that I will cherish forever and I will continue to hone in and refine and grow. Because like you said, we're not done and we never will be done. And that's great. That's exciting. so if you are in a place where you know you are meant for more, you want to know more about yourself, you want to grow in any capacity, this is for you.

And I know that you have, you know, you have your DIY series, you have like the LIVE series. There are multiple avenues where you can get plugged in and just get plugged in. Just get plugged in and apply it, really apply it. Like I said, even if you don't do the homework, take what the teachings are and apply it to your life and you will come out victorious. You will have done the work.

Jenn Noble

I truly believe you'll get like, I truly, truly believe that if you join the program, you'll get something out of it no matter what, no matter if you come or not, no matter if you're able to even make it to the group sessions, whether you do the homework, because you get to just be a part of that and you get to listen to the recordings and you get to just implement it however it is that you want. So thank you so much, Amanda, for coming on and sharing your story with us. It's very vulnerable of you to do. And I just want to really, really just say thank you. And I respect your time and your energy for all of this and I will see you tomorrow at our last group coaching. And with that being said, I will speak to you later. All right, take care.

Amanda

Alright sounds good bye.

Jenn Noble 

I just want to say thank you so much again, Amanda, for all of the stuff that you've done for this program. You were such a bright, shining light in our program for this beta cohort. I couldn't have asked for just a better pupil to come in. You supported me, you supported the other women, you supported yourself, you supported your family throughout all of this, and you were just this beautiful, shining light of just energy and positivity, but also realness. 

You came in and you had the big feelings, you had the big heavy emotions and you just kept pushing through. And you knew that if you could just put in the work, if you could just do the homework, like we talked about, if you could just implement anything you possibly could from all of the tools that you were learning in the program, you knew something was going to shift. You shifted it. That is all on you, girl. And I just want to say, I'm so, so proud of you. 

And if you want to shift what's going on inside of you, if you want to break free from the toxic patterns that are holding you back from having the relationships that you deserve, then please, please, please schedule a call with me. You can go to speak-honest.com/assessment to schedule a free 30 minute one-on-one private call with me. It's not a sales call at all. If you are interested in joining the program, we will schedule in an additional call after this. 

But my attachment assessments are only there to get you to understand where you need to go in your healing journey. It's just for me to get to know you and for you to get to know me. You know, we shoot the shit for about 30 minutes. I hear about the issues that you're having. You hear a little bit about me. You ask me questions. I ask you questions. And next thing you know, the 30 minutes is up and we decide, well, what do you want to do next? Do you want to schedule another call where I actually do sit down and talk to you about pricing for the program. Or do you want to just explore the Facebook group and the podcast and the free weekly support sessions that I offer? 

Any of that is okay. It's whatever you need on your journey. And that's what I'm here for. So if you want to start your healing journey, just jump on a call with me, speak-honest.com/assessment. And I will speak with you soon. I hope everyone has had a beautiful holiday season and I will speak to you all next week. Take care.