40. Surviving (& Thriving!) Through Big Relationship Changes

Ever feel like big relationship changes are throwing your emotions all over the place? Whether you're moving in with someone or moving on from a breakup, these transitions can feel like they’re turning your world upside down. In this episode, we break down why these changes feel so intense and how you can not only survive them but actually thrive in the process! 🌟

You might want to listen if:

• You're feeling anxious about moving in with a partner 🏡
• You’re finding it hard to heal after a breakup 💔
• You feel emotionally overwhelmed by big shifts in your relationship 🎢
• You're unsure how to balance your feelings during these life changes ⚖️
• You want to turn these transitions into opportunities for growth and strength 💪

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DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for accuracy but are not liable for errors or outcomes from this information.

Transcript

Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Speak Honest! I’m Jenn Noble, your go-to relationship coach, and I am so excited you're here today. I want to dive into a topic that I think hits home for so many of us—relationship transitions. But before we get into all the juicy details, I have to take a minute to share some incredible news with you.

This week, our free Facebook community just hit 1,000 members! Can you believe it? I’m over here, totally freaking out because when I first started this group, it was just a handful of women, all of us trying to figure out this relationship stuff together. And now, here we are—a full-blown community of strong, empowered women supporting one another, sharing our wins, struggles, and all the messy moments in between.

If you’re not already in the group, this is your sign to join us! It’s a safe, supportive space where we talk about everything from attachment styles to communication, dating struggles, and everything in between. Plus, I’m in there all the time, popping in with live videos, Q&As, and giving you extra tips and tools to help you on your relationship journey. So head over to Facebook and join us. Trust me, you don’t want to miss out—especially since we have some exciting things coming up in the next few weeks, including exclusive content and events. OK, now that I’ve shared that little win, let’s get into today’s episode!

Today, I want to talk about something that shows up in all of our lives at one point or another—relationship transitions. Whether it's the excitement (and let’s be real, sometimes the stress) of moving in with someone, or the emotional rollercoaster of moving on from a relationship, transitions can feel really overwhelming.

They’re scary, unpredictable, and often leave you thinking, "Why is this so hard?" But here’s the thing—transitions are also some of the most powerful moments in our lives. They’re where the real growth happens—where we learn, adapt, and discover new things about ourselves and our relationships. So today, we’re going to talk about why transitions can feel so daunting but also why they have the potential to be the most transformative experiences of your life.

Why Are Transitions So Scary?

Let’s start with this question: why do transitions, whether it’s moving in with someone or moving on from a relationship, feel so scary? Think about it—whether you’re preparing to share your life with someone or stepping into the unknown after a breakup, there’s so much uncertainty. And that uncertainty can feel paralyzing.

One of the core reasons why transitions feel so frightening is that they challenge our sense of stability. As humans, we tend to thrive on routine and predictability because they give us a sense of safety and control. Transitions, however, disrupt this balance. Whether you're merging your life with another person—complete with their habits, quirks, and routines—or trying to rebuild after a breakup, you're stepping into a world where everything is new and unfamiliar.

For example, moving in with someone seems simple at first, but it’s filled with unexpected layers. Suddenly, it's not just about sharing a space—it's about merging your lifestyles, negotiating personal boundaries, and learning how to coexist in close quarters. You might realize that the person you love is great, but their idea of “clean” and your idea of “clean” are very different. Or, you might be used to quiet evenings alone, and now you have to get used to their favorite Netflix shows blasting in the background. These little moments of compromise can pile up, making what once seemed like a straightforward transition feel overwhelming.

On the flip side, when you’re moving on from a relationship, the future feels uncertain. You’ve built a routine with someone, and suddenly that person is no longer there. It’s a strange emptiness—one that leaves you wondering, “What do I do now?” Even the simple things, like waking up without a ‘good morning’ text or navigating weekends without couple plans, can feel like a deep loss. That’s why even if a breakup is the right decision, the transition can feel incredibly difficult. You’re stepping into a new chapter, but you don’t have a clear map of where you’re going yet.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

And let’s be real—transitions are emotional. You might be excited about moving in with your partner but also scared about what it means to share your life on such an intimate level. Or, you might be relieved to move on from a toxic relationship but still feel waves of sadness or loneliness. It’s important to remember that these emotions aren’t linear—you won’t always feel one way throughout the transition.

For many of us, transitions come with a sense of grieving what was, even if we’re moving toward something better. It’s perfectly normal to experience conflicting emotions during a transition. You can love your partner and still feel anxious about living together. You can know a breakup was necessary but still feel heartbroken over the loss. Our emotions often contradict themselves, and that can be confusing. It’s OK to feel both relieved and sad, excited and scared.

These emotional swings can be tough to navigate, especially when they catch you off guard. One minute, you’re feeling confident and happy, and the next, you’re crying over a memory you thought you’d already moved past. Maybe you moved in with your partner and suddenly miss having your own space, or maybe you broke up with someone and feel unexpectedly lonely even though you know it was the right choice.

Transitions also force us to confront deeper emotions and patterns we might have been avoiding. For example, moving in with a partner might surface old insecurities about whether you're lovable or if you're doing enough in the relationship. On the flip side, moving on from someone might stir up unresolved feelings of abandonment or unworthiness. These emotions don’t just go away with time—they need to be processed and acknowledged. And that’s what makes transitions so tough, but also so necessary for growth.

The Power of Transformation

Now here’s where transitions get exciting—because while they might be scary and emotional, they are also powerful. These are the moments that shape us and push us to grow in ways we didn’t know we could. Often, it's through the most uncomfortable, uncertain times that we discover new strengths, develop resilience, and redefine what we truly want in life and in relationships.

Transitions challenge us to adapt and learn, whether it’s figuring out how to live with someone else’s quirks or rediscovering who you are after a breakup. They push us to step outside of our comfort zones and let go of the old ways of doing things that no longer serve us. It’s in these moments of discomfort that we’re forced to confront the parts of ourselves that need to grow.

For example, moving in with someone can create a deeper connection as you navigate life together. You’ll learn how to compromise, communicate, and build a shared life, which strengthens the relationship. It’s through those little compromises—like negotiating who does the dishes or deciding on a shared morning routine—that intimacy grows.

And moving on from a relationship can be incredibly empowering—it’s your chance to focus on you, to rediscover what makes you happy, and to set new goals for your future. Think about it: after a breakup, you’re given the freedom to reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what you really want moving forward. It’s a chance to rewrite your own story, to focus on your personal growth, and to realign with your values and desires.

This is the beauty of transitions—they hold within them the seeds of transformation. When you step into the unknown, yes, it's scary, but it's also the space where growth happens. You learn more about yourself—what you need, what you value, and how you want to show up in the world.

Real-Life Stories

I’ve worked with so many clients going through big transitions, and two stories really stand out to me. One of my clients had been married for 15 years, and after years of trying to make it work, her husband decided to end the relationship. She was devastated. The transition was brutal—she was dealing with depression and felt completely lost.

But as we worked together, she slowly started to see that this transition, as painful as it was, was also opening up space for her to rediscover herself. She started laughing more, pursuing hobbies she’d put on hold, and rebuilding her sense of independence. It took time, but she found herself again through the process of moving on. The growth that came from that transition was incredible.

On the flip side, another client of mine hadn’t dated in six years. She was scared to put herself out there again, afraid of making the same mistakes. But through working on her fears, she began to shift her mindset—what if she found someone who truly made her happy? And guess what? She did. Now she’s in a relationship that brings her joy and excitement. The transition of stepping into the dating world again, though terrifying, brought her to something beautiful.

Embracing the Unknown

The key takeaway here is that transitions, no matter how scary they seem, are opportunities for growth. They push us into the unknown, but in that unknown space, we can find the most incredible transformations. The quote I love to share is, “What if I fall? Oh, but darling, what if you fly?”

Instead of fearing transitions, try to see them as stepping stones toward something better—whether that’s a deeper connection with your partner or a new chapter in your life where you’re focused on you.

This is where the magic happens. When you step into that uncertainty, even when it feels uncomfortable or even terrifying, you open yourself up to growth, joy, and new possibilities. It’s not always easy, but the rewards of embracing transitions can be life-changing.

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Before we wrap up, I want you to take a moment to reflect on your own transitions. Where are you in your journey? What emotions are coming up for you right now? And most importantly, how can you start embracing this transition as an opportunity for growth?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to reach out to me on social media or journal on these questions later. And hey, if you’re not already in our free Facebook group, what are you waiting for? It’s such a supportive community, and if you’re navigating a transition right now, there’s no better place to be.

We’ve got exclusive content, live events, and it’s a space where you can ask questions, get feedback, and connect with other women who are on similar journeys. Plus, I’m always sharing extra tips and tools to help you through whatever transition you’re facing. Head over to Facebook and join us!

Thank you so much for tuning in today. I hope this episode gave you some clarity and encouragement around the transitions in your life. Until next time, remember—growth happens when we step into the unknown. You’ve got this!