26. Mastering the Red Dot 🔴: Jenn's Toastmasters to TEDx Journey

 Ever wondered what it takes to land a TEDx talk and own that red dot 🔴?

In this episode, Jenn Noble dives into her TEDx journey alongside her friend, Jordan Harmon. They share their unique experiences from the initial application to the aftermath of their talks, highlighting how Toastmasters played a crucial role in their preparation. Whether you're dreaming of giving your own TEDx talk or curious about the behind-the-scenes process, this episode is packed with insights and practical advice.

You might want to listen if:

• You’re curious about the TEDx application process.
• You want to learn about different experiences of TEDx speakers.
• You need tips on preparing for and delivering a TEDx talk.
• You’re interested in public speaking and building confidence through Toastmasters.
• You want to hear inspiring stories of personal and professional growth.
  
  

About our Guest:
Jordan is an artist, illustrator, author, graphic designer and mother of 3 living in the Bay Area. She has an AA from Mission College in Creative Arts and a BA from SJSU in Graphic Design. She’s currently studying psychology at SJSU to receive her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

• Jordan's TEDx Talk
• So Many Animals by Jordan Harmon

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• Watch Jenn on the 🔴 TEDx Stage!
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• Like the episode? Please write a review, your words help others find us!

DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for accuracy but are not liable for errors or outcomes from this information.

Transcript

**Jenn**: Hello and welcome to Speak Honest. I am your host and certified relationship coach, Jennifer Noble. It has been my passion for over a decade to help women like you heal what's been holding you back from having the relationships you deserve. Are you struggling with a relationship where you can't seem to voice your emotions, needs without having it blow up in your face?

Then you have found the right podcast, my friend. Get ready for practical tips, empowering truths, and honest conversations. Now let's dive in. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Speak Honest. I'm Jenn Noble, your relationship coach, and on today's episode, I am so excited to get to talk to a very, very close friend of mine, my bestie, Jordan Harmon.

We actually did our TEDx Talk together. It's actually how, it's not how we knew each other, but it's how we started to get a lot closer, starting to find out how much more we have in common and just really both how badass we are, which is why I love her. So on today's episode, I'm going to dive in with her about our TEDx experience.

So if you're out there right now and you're wondering to yourself, Oh my God, Jenn, how did you get a TEDx talk? How did you get this? How can I do this? I want to do this so bad. Maybe you're out there. You don't even give a crap of who I am or who Jordan is, and you just want to get yourself onto that TED stage. You want to be walking up on that red dot. I totally get it. I was right where you are. That's why I really wanted to share our experience.

And if you listen to the podcast, you're going to see that we both have two very different experiences, both before the talk and even after the talk. And the thing is, is our experience is different than everyone else's as well. And so if a TEDx talk is something that you just have that passion and desire to get on and do. I just really encourage you to keep going for it.

For me, I think personally, it just kind of fell into my lap, but also I worked my ass off to get to where I am with it today. But that doesn't mean that you have to be in the right place at the right time. There's so many TEDx events happening out there every day. Go on ted. com, start looking at the events near you. Start reaching out to the coordinators and hey, feel free to reach out to me if you'd like, and I can see who I know on my end as well. And we can get you up on that stage together.

Now, public speaking, coaching. TEDx coaching, that is not what I do. I am a relationship coach. I love working with relationships and love and communication, but I know a lot of great coaches out there. So if you are looking for someone to just amp you up to the next level, let me know, reach out. I'll get you connected to someone. I promise.

Now, if you want to check out my TEDx talk, I would love it if you went and checked out my talk on the YouTube channel. The title of my speech is called, Do Attachment Styles Determine the Dance of our Relationships? This talk is near and dear to my heart. I worked so hard on it and it would mean so much to me if you watched it, liked it, and even left a comment just letting me know what you think. What was your favorite part of the talk? What is the part of the talk that made you kind of sit up and say, Aha, Oh, that's something that really resonates with me. That's something that I deal with as well. Those kind of communications, oh, I just, it just lights up my whole soul whenever I see those up on comments. But for right now, let's get on with the episode.

Oh my goodness, Jordan, I am so excited to have you on the podcast today. I've been wanting to chat with you on my podcast for so long. This is going to be so much fun. It's going to be like girly talk. But before we get started, I just want you to go ahead and introduce yourself to everyone.

**Jordan**: Hi, I'm Jordan. haha, what do I say?

**Jenn**: Great. Okay. So we're done. Let's go.

**Jordan**: Okay. I'm an artist. I'm an illustrator. I'm a graphic designer. I am a mother to three children and I am a badass woman entrepreneur.

**Jenn**: Yes that is so true. So I told everyone a little bit about us before in the intro, but basically Jordan and I got to know each other through Toastmasters. If you don't know what Toastmasters is, go look it up. It's pretty cool. Usually people think it's just kind of for like stuffy uppity corporate people and that's what I did when I first started Toastmasters. I was like, what is this? I only know men in positions of power to be in Toastmasters. And then I joined it in my college level. And still, I wasn't really sure about it.

And then it kind of started forming into what it is now, at least our group. And then, Jordan popped in. And Jordan was just hanging out. I think she was just coming in, you know, to try to figure things out as well, cause in our group you get extra credit if you show up to the Toastmasters meeting, cause that's what the teachers are trying to do.

And I met Jordan and she came in and gave this really powerful speech about chaos at the time and I remember I had no idea who she was at the time and now she's like my bestie it's fine but she started giving this speech and it was just like things started clicking in my mind as to what she was talking about but also I was just like enamored with her speech style and the things she was talking about and the passion behind it.

And at the time, Mission College was about to host a TEDx talk. So that's what I want to get into here. Jordan's TEDx is called Embrace the Chaos. Beautiful, beautiful speech. If you get a chance to go and watch it, I'm going to put it in the show notes. But that is how Jordan and I started developing an even closer relationship.

We're both mothers. We were both a bit older students at Mission College. And here we are thrown headfirst into this TEDx talk, and that's what I want to talk about today. No pun intended, but I want to talk about our experience because, hello, we did a fucking TEDx talk, Jordan.

**Jordan**: I know. I'm, I still process it. I, see, I can't even articulate sometimes.

**Jenn**: Which is ironic considering. Yeah. Let's, okay. Let's start at the beginning, right? What was it like for you when you found out that you were going to do the TEDx Talk? Talk me through that.

**Jordan**: Oh my god. I didn't even think I had a chance. I remember my teacher saying, oh, you should try out for the TEDx Talk, and I looked at him like, what are you talking about? No. Like, what? And that was like so far off my radar, I was like, there's no way. And then, you know, I just got a lot of encouragement from people from Toastmasters. And it just, like, just started happening, and the speech started coming together. And then after a while, I was like, you know what? I kind of really want to do this.

I kind of really want this speech and I was like, there's no way I'm getting it. I'm not getting it, I'm not getting it and there was like a month waiting period maybe two months of like waiting to find out if you made it or not.

**Jenn**: That's right because we had to actually do our speech, right? Like kind of at least put most of it together and we had to film ourselves giving the speech. There was so much process and this was just the application. So a lot of people did this and then we had to wait until they got back to us, whether or not we were even approved or whatever, accepted, I think is the word I'm looking for.

**Jordan**: Yeah, whether we were in.

**Jenn**: But yeah, keep going.

**Jordan**: No, yeah, it's, exactly, there was this like process of doing it and like all these steps that we had to do and I was like, there's no way I would even record myself doing that. I did it. And then, yeah, just the waiting and I remember checking my email. Like every day, like 20 times a day, just like, did I get an email yet? Did I get an email yet? Is anything happening? And I would even check on mission college to see like, did something announced something? Like, is anything happening? Like what's going on? And then I got the email that said, I'm doing it.

**Jenn**: Yeah. You've been selected as a speaker for the inaugural TEDx mission or whatever it was, it said.

**Jordan**: Yeah. And I think it was like a couple of days after Christmas or before Christmas. And I just remember, I could not stop smiling for like a week straight. I could not stop saying, I can't believe I'm going to do it. I would just be walking around the house going, I can't believe I got it. I can't believe I got it. Like I would just be like, Oh my God, you guys. And then my parents would like, what? You can't believe you got it? Like, they're getting annoyed with me because, like, I was in shock that it was happening. Yeah, I still can't believe I did it.

**Jenn**: What I love about part of your story, at least to me, is yours really just felt like something divine was happening in your life for it to happen because I think the only reason as well, you joined Toastmasters to get some extra credit. I remember we were looking for someone to do a joke master or something and you randomly were like doing something to your kid and so like your arm got raised and I thought you were volunteering so I pulled you in and you were like, no, what? No, I don't speak. What? This is, I'm not, this is not what I do. 

And on the opposite end, I'm a bit different. Right? I've always loved talking. In fact, like, that's always what my teachers put on my report cards. Like, Jennny, you know, whatever, she's fine. But like, she's a social butterfly, or she really should shut up.

They probably actually wrote she should shut up, but that's fine. And so this was something I always knew I wanted to do. And I'll be really honest, I knew I was going to get in. And maybe that sounds like really, like, but I'd had these conversations with the coordinators of TEDx. Like, I was basically recruited to come and join it, right?

So I still remember the day. I got approved, but in my mind it was more of a formality. It was like, oh good, finally now I can tell people. But, I never doubted that I was going to get in. God, if I now, now that I say that out loud, I'm wondering like, what if I didn't? I probably would have been crushed.

Yeah. But there was even, because in my world at least, when this was happening, I was already a part of Toastmasters and a part of so much going on at Mission College that it was already looked at as, oh, there's Jenn, she's well spoken, I'd already taken the public speaking class, and I'd already done all these other things. It was like, let's get her in, they didn't even care what topic I brought in, and that felt really good. Like that felt, that gave me kind of that feeling of, of confidence to be like, Oh, it doesn't really matter what I say. I just need to figure out something that I'm really passionate about.

So for me, I, I think I went through all these different theories, um, all these different ideas I wanted to talk about. And I finally landed on attachment styles, which looking back now seems obvious. It's like, it's, it's what I do, but like I hadn't fully fleshed out my coaching business back then.

What was this? Um, what's this like July of 2023. Is that when this started? Well, for me, that's when it started. What about for you? Do you remember?

**Jordan**: Well, class started in September, and that's when I met my teacher, and then that's when he talked about Toastmasters. And I think it was, yeah, sometime in September, October is when I found out about the TEDx thing, and I was like, there's no way. So it was around that time. Is when we started like thinking about it and then talking about it and when you had to like apply.

**Jenn**: Oh, that makes sense. That's right. That's why it feels so divine to me because like applications were just about to end.

**Jordan**: Yeah.

**Jenn**: When you randomly, and this is one of my favorite things that I wanted to share with people. In Toastmasters, you can come in and give speeches and a lot of times people will just come in, in our group, and they just want to give a speech that they have to give in class. You came out and you just gave a speech that was from your heart. And to me, that's like the number one thing that people love about TEDx Talks.

That's how you get in. If you're sitting there right now and you're listening to us and you're like, how do I get in? How did these, you know, two bumpkins, women, like, you know, we have no idea what we're doing in life. Like, how on earth did they get a TEDx? I could do a TEDx. How come they got to? Trust me.

I'm having the exact same thoughts that you're having. I don't know why we got this. It is just what it is. And also, for Jordan, it's because she had something on her heart, and that's what Ted loves. They love a good, innovative story. And if you go and you get a chance to listen to her speech, it is amazing, and it's about her life, and it's so vulnerable, and it's so open, and it's about everything she's been through.

And that was on her heart, and that's why she wanted to share it. And that's what I love, is because I think the two of us came at Ted in two different ways. Jordan had something on her heart she needed to share, and I just needed to share anything, and so I, it was just like, What do you want me to talk about? I'll talk about it.

And so through the process, I learned, Oh, I need to find where my passion is. You already had it, and that was beautiful. And then you had to learn your confidence in your speaking. I had my speaking, I had to learn where my passion lies. And I think that's what I find fascinating about how both of us came in.

This is also a really beautiful example of something I wanted to bring up about our event. Loved our event, it was very amazing. It was also an inaugural event for our TEDx, and it was a hot mess. And so...

**Jordan**: it's chaos!

**Jenn**: If you want to, it just was, I, you know, what, what is the whole point of my podcast? I need to speak honest, right? I don't think my coach reached out to me. I love my coach. You know, I love my coach, but things got so messed up and that my coach didn't reach out to me for ages. And there was also this idea of, Jenn doesn't really need a coach. It's fine. Are you kidding me? Do you know how self conscious I am? Do you know how scared I am? Please, I need someone.

**Jordan**: I believe that, though. I can totally see that. Like, Jennifer's fine. She's got this. We're not gonna worry about her.

**Jenn**: Yeah, because I didn't have to return anything. All I know for some of you, you all had to, rewrite things, and you had to show them, and it was just, oh, here's Jenn's speech. We trust it. Go on, again, feels beautiful. What a beautiful opportunity. But that's one of those things that can happen sometimes, and it's happened so many times in my life that I get lost in the cracks. Because everyone always thinks I have my shit together. And, they don't see me on the side, having a freaking panic attack, because they don't know what's going on.

So I went and hired my own coaches. I went and hired a couple of TEDx coaches myself, just to help me through this process. I reached out to some women in my groups, and they were so sweet, and they came in and helped me. And I think that just kind of community of women around me, just really lifted me up to a level of, immense just confidence and passion that I hadn't had yet before that speech.

**Jordan**: That's really beautiful. I didn't go looking for anything because it did feel so divinely guided. I was in this space of like, I'm here for some reason. I was like, I'm just going to fall into it, lean into it. And I know that I will be guided toward whatever I need to be guided toward. And I loved my mentor. He's amazing. I reached out to him first cause I didn't, I couldn't wait. I was like, I think I reached out to him.

**Jenn**: You were like, let's get started.

**Jordan**: Yeah. And going to Toastmasters meetings constantly every week, that was always building up my confidence too. And I think even just being around you and everybody else and I think just that open communication between all of us and how we were all like, Oh my God, can you believe it?

**Jenn**: So speaking of the other people, I want to actually give them props. In fact, I'm going to make sure their links get put in the show notes as well. I think we had a really unique TEDx event to where we were really close with each other. And I was talking to some of these other women and they were like, no, not only did I not know any of the other speakers, but there was almost a level of competition between all of us. They wouldn't even share what their speeches were about. One woman, she didn't even get a coach. The event didn't even give her a coach. And so every TEDx event is different. I just want people to be mindful of that, especially if you're listening because you found us. I really want to do a TEDx event. How do I do this? What's going on? Every event you do is going to be different.

So what we went through is us. That's part of TEDxMission College, and it won't even be the same in two years time when they do it again. Because it's always different, it depends on the coordinator. It's like a franchise.

**Jordan**: Oh, yeah.

Jenn: When you kind of, you have the general bones, but everyone kind of runs it slightly differently.

And so first, there's Jacob. Jacob Chowdhury. Great, great speaker. He was president of Toastmasters when we were doing the thing, and he's the one that really just started inspiring me. This just really wonderful young kid who's coming up in the world, and I swear to goodness is gonna cure cancer. I swear to God he's going to. And then we're gonna be like, dude, I know that guy! That's gonna be so cool.

He talks about reintegrating both ourselves within society and also our CELLS. Like, our cancer cells, if they reintegrate, then they could heal. And so this reintegration is key to healing.

Oh, I just love the speech. I think it's absolutely stunning. Based and backed by so much science and that's actually what he's going to be doing. He's now going to UC Santa Cruz to finish his degree and he's just going to keep going with it and keep doing all this research.

He's also right now in Stanford doing research. So amazing what this kid is doing and he's like, could be my son. That's what I always laugh about. Like he's closer in age to my actual son. They're going to become besties. Cause it's just so cute.

So we have Jacob and then the other person who felt really close to us was Andrea. And Andrea is actually one of our immediate past presidents of Toastmasters. So as you can tell, we just have this like crew going on. And she just came into our folds as well. And we all started getting really close. We would spend nights at my house just working together on our speeches. Do you remember those nights? I miss those nights, right?

Jordan: I do. See, those helped. Those nights helped too, because we all gave each other space to give our speech or give our talk and we all gave each other feedback and we were taking that feedback and it was just like this group of like, tell me what I need to do, help me fix this, you know, and then just this like, like relationship and yeah.

Jenn: Yeah, I remember when Andrea brought her big massive ring light tripod so she could film us and we would all film each other and we would send it out to people. The amount of times I filmed, if you could go back from the original speech that I ever wrote and gave to them to what it is now, it's like wildly different. The speech that I gave, it had the bones, but it's so different now than what it was when I first started. And then it just kept going. And then it went through a complete overhaul. And then it went back to what it was. And then I kept getting in my head. And then I kept filming myself. And then I had to learn how to do my mannerisms. And then I had to try to memorize my speech. And there was all of this behind there. And thankfully, we did not have to memorize our speech. But a lot of TEDx events, expect you to memorize your speech, and it needs to hit exactly. And the reason I bring this up is because today at one of our Toastmasters events, someone was talking to me and they said, "Oh, I just assumed that you could just get up and give a speech about whatever you want." And then you can just have like your bullet points and you just go off the cuff. And it's like, no, Ted is like, you need to have it ready to go. You need to have the transcript already ready to just to almost send them right away. And it needs to be literally or near to exact because especially the organizer, they need to know the exact timeframe that you're going to have. Are you going eight minutes? Are you going nine minutes? My speech was at 17 minutes. Do you remember what yours was?

Jordan: Mine was 15, I think.

Jenn: It's just like so much more than I was ever actually expecting. But you can't just speak off the cuff. But if you're a really good public speaker. It sounds like you are, doesn't it?

Jordan: Yeah, I had a lot of people tell me after they watched my TEDx that they had no idea I was looking at a teleprompter. They all said, "wow, you speak so naturally and you're just like, how did you memorize all of that?" It's like, I didn't. Yeah, they had no idea.

Jenn: Yeah, we had a teleprompter. We worked, how many times did we practice beforehand? Which was also a blessing. Cause now again, not everyone gets to do that. They at least get to see the stage, but they don't always get to practice on the actual stage to practice their whole thing. So we got to go up there. We got to practice with our teleprompter. This was a big deal for Mission College too, though, right? This was for them their big TEDx event. TED is such a big deal! But it was different, we worked with a professional company, Spirinity, in terms of trying to get all of this filmed and they did an amazing job with all the editing and then the teleprompters, but we had to stick to our script. There was one person, oh, I feel so bad for her and I forget which one it was now, but there was one person in our thing, I remember, it's like she got lost in her script. And then the person doing the transcribing of it or not, he got lost with her.

Jordan: They weren't moving the script at the right time or I think it skipped and she didn't know where she was and so she had to find her spot.

Jenn: And then there was another one and actually he's a Toastmaster in our group now too, Omar. He would not rely on the teleprompter. He refused to. So he just memorized his entire script and he said he did not look at the teleprompter once.

Jordan: I didn't know that.

Jenn: Yeah, because him and I had a conversation about it because I was debating on doing that, but my memory sucks. I can't do that. So, uh, he was like, yeah, no, I'm not relying on the teleprompter. Are you kidding me? So he memorized it all. And I thought that was really amazing too. Now, here's what's interesting is Jordan and I actually bookmarked the entire event. So Jordan went first and then I went last and there was nine of us with a break in between. So Jordan, you have to go freaking first. Tell me about that.

Jordan: Oh, man. So I got there super, super early because I needed to see where I was going to be. I need to be in my environment. I wanted to know the people around me. I wanted to relax and get comfortable where I was. I took a shot of fireball full disclosure. I was so nervous. And I think just being there and, just talking to the backstage people and hanging out with the mic people and like the cameraman and just like talking to them and chatting really loosened me up a little bit. And I, yeah, I just remember when it was starting and the coordinator of everything was speaking and leading the thing. And, and actually I think it was Omar's sister who was MCing and she announced my name and everybody was clapping and, oh my God. It was, it's surreal. I remember walking slowly to the red dot and I stepped on it in my, like my boots that I never wear my, like my blazer looking all like professional and my ripped jeans and, uh, yeah you know what? Just like seeing the teleprompter and I think all the lights too. You can't see like so many faces. You just see like kind of, it's like darkness a little bit and you just see like the lights. It just like came out. And then as soon as I was done, I was so happy. Oh my God. I wanted to run off, run away. And I was so happy it was over. I remember walking up to my mentor too and giving him the biggest hug. And that was the best moment ever because after that I was done. I was done, and then I could just watch everybody else.

Jenn: Now that I really listened to you, what a different experience we had. Because for five hours I had to live in pure anxiety, watching everyone else go until it was my turn. And it was just that, I, I now see, like, man, if I ever do this again, I'm going first. I need to just go first. I need to get it over with.

Jordan: I'm actually happy I went first.

Jenn: Yeah, because I had to go and I wanted to be there for yours and I wanted to be there for Jacob. So I got there really early and I wanted to be there for everything going on. I didn't want to miss anything, but that meant it was actually a really long day for me. So by the time I went up, this is actually one of my disappointments. I think I've shared with this with you in the past, but by the time I went up on stage, we were already so behind that people were leaving. They had already started cleaning up outside and I felt like an afterthought. I just want to be really real about that. Because here it was thinking, great, I'm going to end it. It is going to be so good. But I got mic'ed up. I went down there and I'd like to be honest about this part of it, but I looked out into the audience. And it was really low, meaning there was no one there. When I was seeing your speech and I was seeing it was given, people were hyped. They were excited. The audience was pretty filled up. It was earlier on in the day. By the time it got to me, I think we were just exhausted. Everyone was done. And most people had left. And I remember being up on that stage. And in that moment, feeling upset about that. If I watch the speech, I can literally tell you my emotions in every single aspect. I can tell you what my face looks like and why and where. And I could probably, if I like, had enough like, graphic action, have you do this for me. I could like, be like, watch my eyes here. You can see how sad I am. And then I was like, okay, you know what, Jenn? Just shake it off. You are up on the stage. This video is gonna go out. No one's going to know how many people are in this audience. I mean, now they do because I just told everyone. But, like, they're going to make it look good. It's not a big deal. This is the moment you've been waiting for your entire life. Your kid is out there, your husband is out there. You can see them perfectly. They're so proud of you. And then, a couple times where I almost started crying because I could see them and how excited my son was of me and how proud he was. It was just an amazing feeling. Now, I want us to get into what it's been like in the aftermath. So, February 29th, we gave our speech at Mission College, February 29th, 2024. We started this in 2023, and your speech came out pretty quickly, I'd say, comparatively to some people's. But, let's talk through that a little bit.

Jordan: I think it came out April 1st, I think it came out that week. Or, or it was like a week after April or something. It was in April, beginning April.

Jenn: I had been doing all this research ahead of time, right? I had the TEDx coaches, we'd had actually a TEDx speaker come in and talk to us, Terry Kingston, with our Toastmasters group. And so we had all this kind of experience understanding. When you give your talk, it will take months to come out and like it because you have to have your video editor do all the work. Your coordinator has to send in everything. And I learned so much on the back end. I'd never learned before how much work it is that the coordinator actually has to do to get all of this out, to get the bios written, to get the descriptions done, to get everything loaded up, to give it to Ted. Ted has to approve it. Everything has to go down. And then our editors, like Spirinity, they had to do all the video editing. We had all these different angles. Some people had slides. So it was just like, okay, when is this going to get done? Thankfully, your speech. So if anyone is out there and they're like, how can I get my speech out as quickly as possible? Don't do any slides.

Jordan: Yeah, I didn't have any.

Jenn: Yeah, don't have any hiccups. So your speech came out pretty quickly and you just randomly found it. They don't tell you. They do not tell you when it comes out. They don't even tell our coordinator when it comes out. He has no idea. You just literally have to sit there on YouTube. Every day after, yeah, you can have a little bit of leeway. If you know your coordinator, if you're in connection with them, you'll know when they send it. So you can have a little bit of a break right after your TEDx event, where you can just chill. But if you know when your coordinator sends it into TED, so basically once they actually upload it, then you have about 30 days or so after that, that TED will go through everything, make sure everything sounds, whatever it is, and then they'll slowly put it up. Yours came out with, what was it, two other peoples from our event? Is that right? Was it Karen's and maybe Bob's?

Jordan: It wasn't Karen's. It was Bob's and Omar's, and I think it was just me, Bob, and Omar. I think it was just us three.

Jenn: Okay, so you, Bob, and Omar. Oh, that's right, because Karen had slides that you helped make for her, actually.

Jordan: Yeah.

Jenn: So, yes, which, again, you know, graphic designer. And so, yeah, those are the first three that came out. So they don't even all come out at the same time from your event. That was something new that I didn't realize either. The other thing I started realizing, how many TEDxTalks get put up on YouTube every single freaking day. Having to scroll through those every single day, I counted them, there's 99. TEDx Talks that go up on YouTube near daily. Monday through Friday, it's like close to 80 to 99 talks every single day. And then on the weekend, there's one or two. I started noticing the pattern and I thought this was fascinating. And I started like crunching the numbers and like doing the research and figuring all this out. And then I started asking people. And so the, the well known knowledge is like there's 300,000 some TEDx Talks up there. The average TEDx Talk gets 411 views. That's it. Like, it's wild to me. What did you think after your TEDx talk was going to drop on YouTube? What did you think was going to happen? Because you know me, I'm a bit of a TEDx super geek.

Jordan: Yeah.

Jenn: But what about for you?

Jordan: Well, I mean, obviously I was like, oh my god, I'm a superstar now. Everybody's going to know who I am and it's going to be seen by millions of people.

Jenn: Yeah, right? Like the Brene Browns and all that stuff.

Jordan: But at the same time, I was also, like, really proud of myself and a lot of people, everybody I knew, knew I was doing that and I've been talking about it. And so I was like, here it is finally! Look! Here it is, finally, look! You know? And I think I, because I don't have a, you know, I'm not a relationship coach, my topic is just, like, kind of from my heart. I don't have, like, a, uh, I don't want to say agenda, but, um, it's not connected. I shouldn't say that. Everything is connected.

Jenn: To, like, what you do.

Jordan: Yeah, like, I'm an artist.

Jenn: No, and that makes sense, because you're an author and an artist, but even what you, Author. Authorize? No. Even what you write about. Excuse me. Like, your first book was a children's book that had all of your art in it and it was in the ABCs. Beautiful book, by the way. I'm gonna put all of that in the show notes. But your second book that you're working on right now, it's about art, isn't it?

Jordan: Yes.

Jenn: So, and your TEDx talk had nothing to do with art.

Jordan: No, but it's funny. I mean, I know that everything is divinely orchestrated. I don't want to say orchestrated. I don't want to get too spiritual. But, um I just always trust that everything happens for a reason and it reminds me of, you know, like Steve Jobs, where I think he says something about how everything you do leads to like one moment, you know, but if you would go from that one moment and you look back everything you had no idea what connect to that connects to it. So like, I'm, you know, I'm not working towards helping people with their chaos, you know, that's not part of, that's not my job, you know, but as an artist and with the book that I'm writing right now, which is about paint and thread, and it's my embroideries that I merged the two different mediums. I do talk about chaos and organization in the book. I talk about unifying the two different mediums.  I do talk about chaos and organization in the book. I talk about unifying the two different mediums. I talk about merging them. I talk about, you know, having them dance together. So that idea that's in my talk is also in my book. It's just not like...

Jenn: Right there.

Jordan: Yeah.

Jenn: So your third book will be all about embracing the chaos. Got it. It'll be all of your art from your chaotic time in your life and all this stuff. But yeah, I hear what you're saying. Whereas I'm like a coach, right? Or I'm working even towards becoming a therapist, a psychologist one day. I'm like one of those type of TEDx talk people that's coming. When you are a therapist, something like your TEDx talk is going to be massive, especially if you're a therapist that's helping people to learn how to accept their chaos that's going on around them, versus trying to constantly fight against it, and that's one of your big things, but you're absolutely right, it's different, and even with Bob, Bob has kind of an agenda as well, in fact, and this is a really big thing, and I don't bring this up to call out Bob or anything like that, but his TEDx talk got flagged in the beginning process because he kept bringing up his tutoring program. And you cannot self-promote on TED. And I was not allowed to bring up the name of my business. The most I could do was say that I'm a relationship coach because that's part of my credentials. That's it. But I couldn't say, over at Speak Honest, where you can get your free workbook here. You know, none of that kind of stuff. Whereas Bob kept talking about Elevate, which, by the way, Elevate is a great program. Absolutely amazing. It's a tutoring program used to help students and learn to help them fail. And Bob's talk is so good. I was so enthralled by everything and what he was saying, but they had to tell him, you got to stop self-promoting.

Jordan: Yeah, right?

Jenn: And so you could only do that slightly, like in the description over here, but that's also important because there's a ton of people that want to go and get a TEDx talk because they want to promote themselves. And they're like, this is the greatest opportunity to do that. We've all seen that. Like, it changed, you know, Brene Brown's life. All of these other people that have had a chance, like Kristen Neff, but she was already doing her self-compassion before she did her TEDx talk. All of these kind of things were going on, but they really just want you to come in with an innovative idea. That's all they want. They don't want you to self-promote. But listen, like you got to do what you got to do then after it's done. Because me, hell yeah, I'm gonna promote the hell out of that thing now. Like I'm so proud of it. I'm so excited. It's actually started helping almost shape my coaching program because it started really helping me to niche down to like really focus in on what is it that I'm passionate about? What is it that I want to do?

Jordan: So interesting, I feel like mine's backwards. My TEDx is helping me.

Jenn: Yes, exactly.

Jordan: Cause I've always had that passion and you know, I'm always like that psychologically philosophical person, you know, and always thinking all these thoughts and, but I'm like, I don't know how to translate that into a physical form of like a job or career, you know, but like you had that relationship coaching. And then you were like, it's like opposite.

Jenn: I feel like a lot of our experience with Ted has just been, even down to the point where you went first and I went last. Like I do feel like we've had totally two different experiences and yet at the same time, the same one. And that's what's so important when I'm looking at the Ted event and looking at everything going on is everyone's just gonna have their own experience of what's going on. So one of the women I was talking to, just speaking of different experiences, everyone's going to have with their TEDx events, her video got lost. All of the videos at her event, they don't exist anymore. So she didn't even get to put, that was like a fear of mine. I was like so afraid to have my video lost. I was afraid Ted wasn't going to put my video up. So just to kind of move the conversation along just slightly, the Jordans goes up on April 1st or kind of in that, timeframe, which is really only just like a month or so after the events, which is kind of wild. And then there was those of us who had our slides. So they had to do all that. And then apparently, they were sending me emails that I wasn't getting. And they were trying to ask me, what, how do you want your slides up and all this stuff? And it still blows my mind. And yeah, I get really upset with them because I think to myself, you know me. I work there.

Jordan: I know your office.

Jenn: I go to school there. Just stop by and ask me a question. You know where my office is. Nobody thought, hi Jenn, super anal and controlling about everything that has had to happen with TEDx so far. No one thought I had an opinion. Seriously? So they just put it up. So they just put my talk up, didn't tell me to review it or anything like that. I saw it go up. I was so excited. This was back in, was it May, maybe? There's a typo on my speech. There was, like, no D. I think it was, like, a L or something like that. They had no slides up. And none of the description or bio that I wanted up there was there. And I just went into like, I just stuck my big girl pants on. I went into like super, super, super just like boss bitch mode. And I was like, I'm gonna get shit done right now. And I'm gonna talk to a bunch of men and they're all going to listen to me. And I'm going to take this. And then I was like, this all needs to happen. And it did. It all got taken down. And I was like, okay. I would rather this be done right than just be rushed. And then they finally got back to me. They did all the things and the slides were just, a hot mess. And I was like, I sent you guys the whole breakdown of how I would like this to be done. At one point in time, they held up the picture of Bowlby and Ainsworth for like a good 45 seconds.

Jordan: That's a long time.

Jenn: I counted it. And I was like, so I went through again and was like, can we please put this here? Can we put this here? Again, I want to say I am in a very lucky and privileged position to know the team to have gotten a chance to do that. A lot of people, you go to an event, you don't know the coordinator, you don't know anyone. Like, you don't get a say in any of this. They put your video up, you're done. So I do feel very blessed. I feel very happy that I had that. Sent it back to the editing team. They did it again. You know, I have these thoughts in my mind going on of like, am I too much? Am I a burden? I often fear that people see me as too controlling. This isn't good enough for me, blah, blah, blah, you know? But, it's just, I often fear when I have to actually step into my role as a powerful woman. What do people think of me then? That's one of my biggest fears. But I was really proud of myself. I had to do a lot of somatic meditation with that. I just had to really work through, like, Jenn, this is what you want. This is what you've wanted for forever, if not at least for the last year. Get this done right, who cares what they think, kind of thing. And also, as everyone knows who maybe listens to my podcast or knows me as a relationship coach, what I think they're thinking is what I think about myself. That's how that works. I have no idea what they're thinking. In fact, who knows? Maybe they're thinking, damn, she's awesome. I wish I could get shit done as fast as she does. Like, why am I not thinking they're thinking that? Like, why do I immediately go to the negative and them thinking, God, she's so annoying. Why is she so difficult all the time? I'm not kidding you. I say it in my speech. I'm annoying and difficult. I'm not kidding you when I say that this is still stuck in my head at all times that I am annoying and difficult. I don't make this up. It's still stuck in me.

Jordan: Mine is, I'm a nuisance.

Jenn: Yeah, exactly. And it's those things that get brought up in us. But I still did it, I pushed through it, got it out. And so just recently my TEDx finally came out. So please go out, watch my talk, watch Jordan's talk. I think we could probably sit here and talk about this for like five more hours, but I got to cut us off at some point in time. But as we wrap up, Jordan, I would love for people to know how they can get to know you more. Tell me a little bit more about where they can get your books or how they can find you or follow you.

Jordan: Yeah, so you can follow me on Instagram. My handle is jordanharmoncreative. My name, Creative, and I'm always posting stories about with my kids and you know what I do during the day and stuff about my art for my children's book. You can get it on Amazon. It's called So Many Animals and you can also actually buy it directly from me from my website, JordanHarmon.com, and I still have about 15 copies with me still. So, you can buy them directly from me, which is a little bit cheaper, since I get the printing price and Amazon kind of ups it a little bit. And I'm also working on my second book, which should be out by the end of this year, it's going to be titled Paint and Thread by me. And it's going to be about my embroideries that I make with paint and thread, where I combine the two mediums.

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Jenn: So excited. Jordan, let me take a look at this book today, by the way. She has like a proof of it and it looks amazing. Like I can't even wait for it to come out. I think it looks so beautiful.

Jordan: I'm so excited. I can't even describe how excited I am. I've been working on this book for over five years.

Jenn: That's amazing.

Jordan: Some of the pictures in it are that old. I don't even have most of these embroideries anymore because they've been sold. So I'm super excited. You can follow me on my Instagram. I'm always on there.

Jenn: Well, when your book comes out, I'd love to have you on again, and we can go through it. And because I was looking at it, it's so different than your children's book, which your children's book, it's just so colorful and beautiful. And it's just really simple and just like this really powerful kind of thing of all your different cute animals that they're going, and then all of a sudden you showed me this proof of this book, and I was like, this is amazing! Like, I wanted to read it. Like, I was mad I had to give it back to you, because I was like, there's so much more on here than I was actually expecting, and just the way that it's formatted, and the colors, and the organization, it is just, it is just on point. It is so, so, I'm just excited for it. Okay. Well, everyone, this is Jordan. This is our experience with our TEDx Talk. If you want to find out more, let me know. I can always have Jordan back on. If you are happy with what you're listening to here on Speak Honest, please go ahead and leave a review. I still have a goal for the end of the summer to get three new reviews. So please, please, please. And if you want, go ahead and check out our TEDx Talks. As always, I'll put all, there's going to be so many links in the show notes today, y'all, but it's going to be totally worth it. And Jordan, I'm sure I will just see you tomorrow, but I'll talk to you later and I hope you have a great day.

Jordan: You too.

Jenn: Bye.

Jordan: Bye.

Jenn: I absolutely love getting a chance to talk to Jordan all about our TEDx experience. What I really loved was even I found out new things about her experience versus my experience and I chat with her all the time. So that was just really cool to get a feel for the fact that she went through it in this way, and I went through it in this way. And that's the same thing for anyone out there listening who wants to do a TEDx talk, or they've done one already and they're trying to figure out, Oh, what should my experience look like? What should it be? And everyone's is going to be different. And I think that's really cool. But if you want to check out Jordan's TEDx talk entitled, Embrace the Chaos, I'm going to add the link to the show notes. You can also check out our website. My TEDx talk, which is, Do Attachment Styles Determine the Dance of our Relationships? And if attachment styles are something that's been really interesting to you, you've been hearing it around, you know, the town and all this kind of stuff. And it's like, what exactly is attachment styles? Well, the talk is going to talk you through that, but also I'm going to be hosting a workshop on August 14th. I'm so excited. I've been working so hard on this workshop. In the workshop, we will be learning about the top three ways that understanding your attachment style can transform your relationships. So get ready, put it on your calendar. Save the date for August 14th. I'm so excited for this workshop. I hope you all loved this episode as much as I did, and I will talk to you next week. Take care. As we wrap up today's conversation. Always remember that healing is a journey, not a destination, and it is an honor to be a part of your healing journey. If you want to dig deeper into the topics we covered today, be sure to head over to our show notes where you can find all of the valuable information mentioned in today's episode, right there. And please remember to rate review and subscribe. If you enjoyed today's podcast, your feedback means the world to us and helps others discover our podcast until next time, remember to speak up and speak honest.